


The Stars and the Moon

by flyingbuffalo



Category: Nothing Much to Do
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-14
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2018-12-02 01:29:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 23,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11498919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flyingbuffalo/pseuds/flyingbuffalo
Summary: AU: The one where Bea and Ben don’t stop being friends at fourteen





	1. Three Days

Year 10

Bea thought about not saying anything to him, just slowly distancing herself. It’d hurt less that way, she figured. And really, that was what she wanted to do—take the high road, sort of. But she was just so damn angry. And that was how she ended up throwing rocks outside his bedroom window at two in the morning in her pajamas.

Bea’s aim was pretty spot-on, so after just a few throws, Ben peeked out his curtains. When he saw it was her, he pushed the curtains aside and opened the window.

“Bea, what’s up?” he asked. “You all right?”

“No, Bene- _dick_ , I’m not all right.”

Ben jerked slightly at her tone but recovered quickly. “Well, what can I do to help, Bea- _piss_?”

It irked her to no end, but Beatrice laughed. She couldn’t help it. “That’s so stupid,” she said, still laughing a little. “Your name actually is Benedick, but mine’s not Beapiss, so mine is way better.”

Ben gave her a look of mock outrage and put his hands on his hips. “Well, I can’t help what my parents named me. And it’s not my fault your parents didn’t name you Beapiss.”

“Beapiss Duke does have a nice ring to it,” she said.

“I almost went with Beatrix Duke, but it felt too far,” he said.

“What?! Beatrix is awesome. That would’ve been a compliment!”

“Are you kidding?” he asked incredulously. “She was so _evil_!” he said, punctuating _evil_ with a fling of his arms in which he accidentally knocked a book off the shelf next to him.

“Evil characters can be awesome too!”

Bea was smiling and suddenly noticed she had that feeling that sometimes found its way into her chest when she was around Ben, that warm glow that seemed to say, _This is nice. This feels right._

That feeling reminded her why she’d come here in the first place: Ben apparently didn’t get that same feeling, because he expected their friendship to die in three days, according to what he’d say earlier that day. Three days—that was how much time they had left before her family went back home. She’d just assumed they’d keep in touch. I mean, why wouldn’t they? They both had cell phones. They texted each other now even, when they saw each other basically every day.

She realized suddenly that she was scowling down at the flower bed below Ben’s window. She looked up at him. He had his head propped up on one hand and was looking down at her with that dopey smile. She felt a flutter inside her chest, and she swore she could kill her stupid body for not listening to her mind.

“So you’re just gonna forget about me once I’m gone, huh?” she accused, wishing she sounded more angry and less hurt.

“What?” Ben asked, straightening up.

“Friendships are like butterflies—they die in three days,” she said.

He just stared at her blankly.

“That’s what you _just_ said, like, ten hours ago.”

“Well, yeah, but I wasn’t talking about _us_ , Bea.”

“Ben, I leave in three days! How could you not be talking about us?”

Ben gaped at her, looking absolutely horrified. “Oh my god, Bea! I’m so sorry! I wasn’t thinking about that, I swear. Ugh.” He dropped his face into his hands.

“So you want to stay friends?”

“Well, duh,” he said, lifting his head up. “You’re my best friend, Bea.”

She smiled at that. She blushed too, her face prickly warm, and felt grateful for the shadows.

“So if you weren’t talking about us, what were you talking about?” she asked.

“Oh, well …” He sighed. “Look, I’m not stupid,” he said. “I know I’m a bit much. People get sick of me. It’s just what happens. If you haven’t noticed, most of my friends don’t stick around long, so I try to not think about the future too much. If you don’t expect anything, you can’t be let down, you know?” He wasn’t looking down at Bea anymore but up at the starry sky.

“Ben,” Bea said softly. She waited until he looked down toward her, even though she knew he couldn’t see her well. “That’s not gonna happen with us, okay? We’ll be friends forever.” She meant it, but it sounded so terribly corny to her that she immediately added, “I mean, we have a foolproof plan to survive a zombie apocalypse! No way am I letting myself get eaten by zombies, so we’re gonna have to stick together until then at least.”

“Deal,” he said. He was giving her that dopey smile again. She liked knowing that she could make him smile.

“So,” he asked, “when are you going to sneak into my window?”

Bea snorted. “Yeah, that’s not happening.”

“You’re the one who came over here and threw rocks at my window. It’s basically a requirement at this point.”

“No way. You’re supposed to run down to see me now—that’s how it works.”

“No, I’m pretty sure I’m right.”

Bea gestured wildly at the bare walls. “Even if I wanted to, it’s physically impossible. What would I climb?”

Ben stuck his head out the window to look. “If you really loved me, you’d find a way.”

Bea blushed again at that and was doubly grateful for the darkness. “If _you_ really loved _me_ , you’d just come downstairs. I’m not Spiderman, you know,” Bea said, hands on her hips.

Ben sighed dramatically. “Fair enough.”

“So you wanna come down before your parents hear us?”

“Oh, I’m sure they’ve been listening in for a while now. You can be quite shrill, you know.”

“ _Shrill?_ ” Beatrice asked, a bit more loudly than she’d intended. She clamped a hand over her mouth.

“See what I mean?”

“Oh shut up.” Then she asked, stage-whispering now, “Do you really think they’re listening?”

Ben laughed. “Nah, I’m just teasing. They sleep like rocks. So, beach?”

“Yeah,” Beatrice said with a smile. “That sounds good.”

“Be down in a minute.”

Ben disappeared from the window and was soon downstairs next to Bea. He was wearing plaid pajama bottoms and a _Doctor Who_ T-shirt. Beatrice was wearing leggings with pizza on them and a too-big white T-shirt with a cat on it.

“To the beach!” Ben said, thrusting a fist into the air. Even though Bea knew she’d woken him up not that long ago, he didn’t seem tired at all. His eyes were bright, and he seemed jittery with energy. Everything with Ben was an adventure. Bea loved that about him.

Bea took off sprinting. “Race you!” she called over her shoulder.

“What? Not fair!” he shouted, running after her.

She laughed and ran faster. She won of course.

When Ben caught up, he bent over his knees, panting, and pointed a finger at her. “You tripped me!”

“Did not. Must have been your weird gangly spider legs.”

“No, definitely your giant Sasquatch feet.”

“Well, you know what they say about big feet …” She elbowed him in the side, grinning. “They win races,” she said after a beat.

“So you admit you tripped me!”

“I admit nothing but the fact I have feet.”

“Feet that tripped me.”

“Allegedly.”

Bea grudgingly agreed to call it a tie, and they ended up lying in the sand looking up at the stars and the moon. Ben chattered for a while about the dream he’d been having before she’d woken him up—it had involved Cybermen, flamingos, and tea. Then they fell into a comfortable silence.

After a while Bea rolled onto her side and looked at him, an excited grin on her face. “Hey, Ben.”

“Yeah?”

“You’ve _been a dick_ today.” She grinned maniacally at him.

He gave her an unamused look, and that set her off into a laughing fit. Then, just when she thought she had it under control, Ben sharply raised on eyebrow at her, and she laughed even harder. This time Ben laughed with her. Bea knew it really wasn’t that funny, but it was late enough that she’d passed the threshold of tired into giddy, and the fact that she and Ben were still friends, lying out here on the beach laughing together, only compounded the giddiness.

They fell silent again eventually, Bea catching her breath.

After a moment, Ben turned his head toward her. “Hey, Bea?”

“Yeah?” Bea said, flopping her head to the side to look at him.

“Only three more days?”

“More like two now, actually,” Bea said, her earlier giddiness disappearing quickly.

“Oh.” He turned to look up at the sky. “Well,” he said cheerily after a moment, “I’m certainly not going to miss you.”

“What?” Bea asked, propping herself up on her elbow and giving Ben a Bellatrix-level-terrifying glare.

Ben just grinned up at her. “Nope. ’Cause you’re gonna text me every day.”

“Oh, I am now?”

“Well, I mean, I guess you don’t have to. But I’m gonna text you every day, and it would be pretty rude not to respond.”

“All right, we’ll text. And call?”

“Skype,” Ben said firmly. “I talk with my hands too much to be properly understood over the phone.”

Bea smiled for what felt like the hundredth time that night. “Deal,” she said.


	2. Pew, Pew!

_Year 13_

_March 22, 2014_

Ben’s eyes darted to the corner of his screen at the incoming Skype call from Bea. It had been over two weeks since they’d last talked, which was a long time for them. They’d still been texting, but it wasn’t the same.

“Hey, Meg, I gotta go,” Ben said, turning his eyes back to the center of the screen.

“Bea?” Meg asked.

Ben laughed. “How could you tell?”

“You only get that dopey-ass grin with Bea.”

Ben did his best to wipe the grin off his face.

“Go, go!” Meg said. “Can’t leave Queen Bea waiting, not even for Queen Margaret. But I fully expect all the dirty deets about how your date with April goes tonight.”

Ben rolled his eyes. “When are there _ever_ any dirty deets?”

“A girl can hope.”

“Good luck with that,” he said, quickly ending the call and picking up the one from Bea.

Though Bea was the one who had called him, she was only half in the screen. She was sitting outside somewhere, near a big tree, and she was rummaging around in her bag off to the side of her.

“Bea!” Ben said a bit too loudly. “I killed another bird!”

“What?!” She popped her head up. “Another one? I thought you liked birds!”

“I do!” he moaned.

“You’ve got a funny way of showing it. Should I be worried about this? Am I next on your hit list?”

“What? No!”

“Oh, so you don’t like me?”

Ben hesitated a moment. This seemed to be happening more, where it felt like they were saying one thing but really talking about another. He couldn’t tell, though, whether it was just him projecting these double meanings or whether Bea was in on it too. “No, I like you,” he said, trying to strike an appropriate level of nonchalant and sincere.

“Oh, that’s good, because I’m in Auckland, and I’m bored.”

“What? Why? Where are you?”

“Outside your house, dumbass.”

Ben jumped up and ran out of his room without ending the call. He took the stairs two at a time and flung open the door, and there she was.

“Pew, pew!” Bea said, pointing finger laser guns at him.

“Bea!” He flung his arms open wide and wrapped her up like a straitjacket, trapping her arms against her sides, and lifted her off her feet. Being apart from Bea was like having the earth and sky misaligned, slightly out of place with one another. When he was with her, everything clicked into place. The ground felt more solid, the breeze felt crisper, and his world felt calmer.

“Good to see you too,” she said when he put her down. “So guess what.”

“What?”

“I live here now. Sort of. I’m staying with Leo and Hero for the next year.”

Ben gave her a skeptical look. “You’re not messing with me?”

“Nope. Swear on Mary Shelley’s grave. Marlowe’s too.”

“A whole year?”

“Yup.”

“Oh, you’re definitely gonna get sick of me,” Ben said, only half joking. This would be the longest they’d ever lived in the same town, and they’d be living only a couple of blocks away from each other. What if she _did_ get sick of him?

“Not a chance. Still need you for the zombie apocalypse. Now let’s go celebrate! You have no idea how hard it’s been to keep this a surprise.”

Ben smiled. He actually did have _some_ idea, and he understood now why she had been avoiding Skyping with him recently. Bea was _terrible_ at surprises, especially when it involved presents, which was what this kind of was. He’d never gotten a present from her on his actual birthday before because she always got too excited and ended up giving it to him early.

“So what do you have in mind for celebrating?” he asked.

“I figured we’d wing it.”

“Okay,” Ben said with a grin. “Just let me grab my phone.”

He ran back inside, grabbed his phone, and shot off three quick texts.

The first, to his mom: “Headed out for a few hours. Back before 12.”

The second, to April: “Hey, not gonna make it tonight sry”

The last, to Meg: “Date’s canceled … Bea’s in town—for a WHOLE YEAR!”

Meg was the only one to reply immediately: “Well, this will be interesting! No more excuses!”

Ben knew exactly what she was referring to, but he didn’t want to think about that right now, so he didn’t. All that mattered right now was that his best friend was in town for the first time in months, and this time it wasn’t just for a couple of weeks for vacation but a whole year. He couldn’t wait.


	3. First Vlogs

_March 25, 2014_

Bea still couldn’t really believe she was here. This year was going to be awesome—her most favorite person ever, Hero, as well as all her Auckland friends and Ben. What could be better?

A vlog, that’s what! She’d been wanting to try it out for a while. She liked talking, and she was good at it. I mean, who wouldn’t want to hear her brilliant opinions?

When she told Ben about her idea, the two of them sitting on her floor together, he immediately said, “Oh, I’m stealing that. I’m gonna do a vlog, and it’s gonna be way better than yours.”

“Oh, come on! At least let me get _started_ before you steal my idea.”

“Okay. You get three vlogs, and then I’m jumping in on this. And I get to be a guest star in your first vlog.”

“I don’t think you really count as a _star_ ,” she said.

“Take it or leave it,” he said, crossing his arms across his chest.

“All right, deal— _if_ I also get to appear in your first video. I want to see the train wreck in person.”

“Done,” Ben said, shaking her hand. “So let’s get started.”

“Right now?”

“Yeah! All the best vlogs are improvised. It’s all about the editing later.”

“Since when did you become an expert?”

“What? I know things!”

“Mmhmm. Keep telling yourself that.” She stood up. “Well, what are you waiting for? Let’s go.”

“Go where?”

“Hero’s room. No way am I filming in here. Have you seen this place?” She gestured at the piles of clothes on the floor and mugs stained with tea scattered on every surface. “I’m disgusting.”

“Yeah, you are,” Ben agreed solemnly.

Bea threw a dirty sock at him. He cackled and ducked out of the way just in time. Bea glared at him and then headed down the hall to Hero’s room, Ben following not too far behind her.

Once they got the camera set up, Ben said she should start with talking about her move here. “It’s the perfect setup for the hero’s journey,” he said.

“Ugh, you’re such a nerd.”

“Please, that’s barely nerdy. And you’re the one who told me about the hero’s journey in year 11!” he exclaimed, flinging his arms out.

“I know,” she said, grinning at how easy it was to get him worked up.

She pushed him out of the shot and started talking about the move, explaining how her parents had given her the choice. “So I chose Messina High School,” she said. “It has a really good science department. And it means I have twenty-four-hour access to the glorious being that is Hero. And also I get to see all my other Auckland friends.”

“Uh, forgetting someone?” Ben asked off-camera.

“And Ben of course,” Bea added, and Ben took that as his cue to flop down on the bed next to her.

“Hey, Bea-bots!” Ben waved. “Just wanted to give you a heads-up that I will be starting a way better, way funnier, and way more interesting vlog soon. So once you get bored of Bea, come check it out and join Team Benedick.”

“I’m not leaving that in!”

“Please?” he asked, pouting and holding his clasped hands up.

She turned back to the camera. “For the record, I’m sure my vlog is going to be far superior to Benedick’s. Also, it’s weird to think of having fans, but if for some reason I end up with fans, please don’t call yourselves Bea-bots. Don’t give Ben the satisfaction.”

Ben wrapped his hand around Bea’s mouth. “Don’t listen to her, Bea-bots. She doesn’t know what she’s saying.”

Bea licked his palm.

“Ugh, seriously? We’re still doing that?” he cried, pulling his hand back and wiping it on his pants.

Bea laughed. “All right, that’s enough of Ben for today. Bye-bye,” she said, making a shooing motion.

“What? You’re kicking me out already? What are you going to do for the rest of the vlog without me?”

“I’ll just stare at Benedict Cumberbatch,” she said, gazing fondly over at the trifold spread of him on Hero’s wall. “Hullo,” she said not at all dorkily to the center picture.

“Well, can’t compete with that,” Ben said to the camera. He stood up to head out of the shot but then bent back down, his face close to the camera. “But you haven’t seen the last of me yet!”

“Yes you have,” Bea stage-whispered, looking back at the camera. “But I think that’s enough for today. Feeling pretty successful, actually. Productive use of time … when there’s nothing much to do! In-joke with myself.”

“Hey, I’m still standing right here!” Ben said. “I don’t get to be in on the in-joke?”

“Nope,” Bea said without breaking her gaze with the camera. “Go me! Hell yeah.”

 

*

 

Later, while editing, Bea chose to keep all the parts with Ben in, though she did edit his pitch for his own vlog, inserting bits of narration from her in a terrible British accent so that it instead said, “Hey, Bea-bots! Just wanted to give you a heads-up that [Bea’s vlog] will be way better, way funnier, and way more interesting [than mine]. You [will never] get bored of Bea. [She’s so great.]”

Ben was the first one to comment on the video when she posted it: “Two more vlogs before the takedown commences!”

 

*

 

_April 13, 2014_

“When suddenly, BIRD!”

Bea snapped her hand up. It was encased in a ridiculous bird oven mitt. When Ben talked about the bird getting stuck in the windshield wipers, she moved her arm back and forth like wipers. He started making a squeegeeing sound, and she struggled to hold her laughter in, little snorts coming out here and then.

Ben was finally making his first vlog. It was very … Ben. There were so many props, for god’s sake! It _was_ a lot of fun to film, though.

After they’d finished acting out the other bird deaths, Bea played on Ben’s phone while he started editing on his computer.

While she was playing Angry Birds, a text from someone named April popped up. The preview text said, “So I take it we’re just not going to …”

“Who’s April?” she asked.

“Uhh …” Ben said, his hands frozen over his keyboard.

Another text popped up from April. The preview on this one read, “You are the biggest DICK in the …”

“Whoa, she is not happy with you,” Bea said. She clicked to read the text messages. “Hey! She stole the Bene- _dick_ thing from me.”

“What are you talking about?”

“That’s my thing.”

“Bea, literally everyone I’ve ever met has done that.”

“Yeah, but I was the first.”

“Are you kidding right now? No you weren’t.”

“I can’t believe you’re going to take this from me.”

“Fine, fine—it’s your thing.”

“Thanks,” she said brightly, returning to reading the text. “ _Whoa!_ She is _way_ not happy!”

Ben scrambled onto the bed. “Give me that.”

Bea put out a hand to hold him back as she held the phone over her head. “Not so fast, Hobbes. What’s this all about?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Nothing, huh? I’ll just take a look at this, then,” She returned her eyes to the phone and clicked back to the messages inbox. “April, Mia, Ella, Charlotte, Olivia?” He’d never mentioned any of these girls. She and Ben didn’t really talk about that kind of stuff very much, but she’d always thought he would tell her if he was dating someone, and it bothered her that he hadn’t. She’d told him about Mason, and she’d only ended up going on three dates with him. She guessed the difference was that she’d only dated the one guy, and Ben had apparently dated every girl at Messina High.

“So, what, are you like a player or something?” Bea asked, annoyed.

“No!” Ben said.

Bea scrolled down the screen. “Really? ’Cause it kind of looks like you’re a new-flavor-every-week kind of guy.”

Ben was looking decidedly uncomfortable. _Good,_ she thought. _Serves him right_.

“So,” she said, her voice a little harsher than she intended, “have you just been using and then dropping girls?”

“Bea,” Ben said, giving her a hurt look, “you know me. You know that’s not me.”

Bea softened inside. Ben giving her that look made her feel like she’d just punted a three-legged bunny across the room. She was still angry, but this _was_ Ben. She did know him, and he wasn’t the kind to use people—lead someone on without realizing he was doing it? Yeah, he would do that. But he wouldn’t intentionally hurt someone.

She took a deep breath. “All right. But why didn’t you ever tell me about any of these girls?”

Ben shrugged, avoiding her eyes. “I dunno. We just don’t really talk about that kind of stuff. You never tell me about boys, so I don’t talk about girls.”

“I do too tell you about boys! Remember Mason?”

“Yeah, but that was over two years ago!”

“So?”

“You mean you haven’t dated anyone in _two years_?”

“No, I haven’t,” Bea said, crossing her arms tightly in front of her chest. “And if I _wanted_ a boyfriend, I might be insulted by your tone.” The truth was that she was a little insulted. Now that she knew Ben had dated dozens of girls, she kind of wished she had dated more guys, just to even the score. Not that it was a competition.

“You don’t want a boyfriend?” Ben asked, giving her a weird look. He sounded genuinely curious.

“No. Why would I? I’m perfect just the way I am.”

“So do you _never_ want a boyfriend or just not right now?”

“A woman doesn’t need to be with a man to be worth something, you know.”

“No, I didn’t mean—” Ben sighed and gave her a crooked smile. “You’re right, Bea. I just …” He shook his head slightly. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about …” He gestured to his phone. “None of it was serious. Basically we’d go on one date and end up deciding to be friends instead. Most of them still really like me as a person, promise!”

“Please, like _anyone_ likes you as a person,” Bea teased. “Except me of course, but that’s only because of the time I ran into a pole as a toddler and gave myself permanent brain damage.”

“I should really go thank that pole someday,” he said, bumping his shoulder against hers.

“Okay,” she said, “one last question, and then I’ll let this drop. What’s going on with April?”

“Oh,” he said. “I may have canceled our first date an hour before it was supposed to start.”

“Yeah, that’s not good. Did you have a good excuse?”

“I think so.”

“She doesn’t?”

“Eh, not so much.”

“What was it?”

“Er, well, a certain someone had just come into town,” he said, looking at her out of the side of his eye.

Something in Bea’s head perked up at this information, but she pushed it back down. That ship had sailed a long time ago. Then a realization dawned on her. “Oh my god! Is this April _Williams_? Is that why she hates me so much?!” Ben’s sheepish look told her she’d guessed right. “Ugh, you’re the worst, Ben!”

“Yeah, sorry about that,” he said.

Bea handed his phone back.

“So we’re good?” he asked.

“Yeah, we’re good,” she said with a smile.

 

*

 

_May 13, 2014_

“Oh my god, I don’t. need. a. boyfriend,” Bea said to the camera. Recently a lot of her viewers had been asking whether she and Ben or she and Pedro were dating. Like obsessively asking, and she’d had enough.

For a while when she was younger, her parents had thought she and Ben were dating. Then, after they found out she and Ben were just friends, they’d started periodically asking her every few months whether she had a boyfriend. Then they’d started asking whether she had a boyfriend or a girlfriend, which she had to admit made them pretty awesome parents, but it had also been frustrating because they’d been missing the whole point, which was that she didn’t need a boyfriend _or_ a girlfriend. She’d finally promised that if she ever decided to start dating someone, she would tell them, and they had left her alone for the most part since then.

She turned back to the video. “I’m a complete, interesting person all on my own.” She circled her hand around her face. “Seriously. What else could you possibly want?

“And relationships are just … bleh. All the ‘Oooh, does he like me?’” She held her hands to her chest and mockingly batted her eyelashes. “Yuck. Not worth it. And then there’s the pressure of having to continue to like a guy after you get sick of him, which can happen pretty quickly, because sometimes you go on one date, and suddenly it’s like he expects something of you, like if he spends money on you, he suddenly has a right to your body or ‘deserves’ something in return. There are so many things wrong with that on so many levels.

“It goes hand in hand with the sexism issues in some heterosexual relationships where the guy feels this _ownership_ over his girlfriend when he really, really shouldn’t. Then, if the girl feels any sort of power in the relationship, the guy is called whipped.”

She sighed. “Look, I _like_ guys. I just don’t need to _label_ one and call him my own and have him follow me around like a puppy dog. It’s like as soon as you go to being boyfriend/girlfriend a switch is flipped that makes you disgustingly cute.

“What I’m saying is that being in a relationship isn’t the be all, end all. It’s like we’ve been brainwashed to think that we can only be happy if we find ‘true love,’ but that’s just stupid. If anything, being single makes it easier for you to live a happy, fulfilling life because it lets you focus on all the things that matter most to you. There’s nothing wrong with being in a relationship, but your happiness should come from _you_ , not another person.”

Beatrice took a deep breath. She may have started ranting there a bit, but it was true! If some people spent as much time thinking about themselves and their futures as they did the opposite sex, they’d be much happier. _And more interesting,_ Bea thought.

Luckily none of Bea’s friends were _too_ boy or girl crazy. Claudio was probably the worst—she honestly didn’t really know anything about him other than the fact he liked Hero—but she didn’t really interact with him much. Hero was a completely nauseating romantic, but she also had a lot of interests she was passionate about, like baking and fashion. And Meg, despite her current unhealthy obsession with Robbie, still had a major warrior-queen vibe and had a personality like the sun, so bright it shone through even giant douche-clouds like Robbie.

Bea smiled. She really was happy being single. She had a loving, supportive family, the most amazing friends, a surprisingly popular vlog, and plans to travel the world. What more could she really want?


	4. Pedro's Party

_May 31, 2014_

“Claudio!” Ben said loudly, snapping his fingers in front of Claudio’s face.

Claudio pulled his eyes away from Hero, who was standing across the room, and back to Ben. “What?”

“You’re missing my completely riveting account of why Donna is clearly the best companion.”

“Uh, yeah. She’s great. The best.” Claudio looked back over at Hero.

Ben rolled his eyes. “Why don’t you just go talk to her instead of creepily staring all night?”

“What?” Claudio asked, blushing, pulling his eyes away again, pointedly looking anywhere except at Hero. “I’m not …” He huffed out a breath of air and looked back at Ben. “What are you doing dressed as a princess again?” he asked, changing the subject.

“Bea picked it out.”

Claudio snorted. “You’re kind of like her bitch, you know.”

“Excuse me?”

“I mean, come on, man.” He gestured at the blue princess costume, complete with tiara and sparkly scepter.

“Well, your beloved Hero said I look great.” Ben had picked Bea and Hero up for the party, and Hero had indeed gushed over his costume. “And,” Ben added, “I got to pick out Bea’s costume in return.”

“But you chose Batman. She’s coming out on top in this deal.”

“Nope. Because part of the deal is that she has to do the Batman voice all night, and she is _terrible_ at that voice. Much more embarrassing than me being in a dress, so I’m definitely winning this one.”

Claudio rolled his eyes. “Still, it’s like you’re her boyfriend without any of the perks.”

Ben clenched his jaw. More and more he and Claudio had been getting on each other’s nerves, almost at each other’s throats. He was hoping it would get better once Claudio finally just asked Hero out and stopped being so mopey and angsty.

With that thought in mind, he called across the room, “Hey, Hero!” and waved her over.

“Ben, what are you doing?” Claudio asked, pulling Ben’s arm down out of the air. “Please don’t—”

“Hero!” Ben said as she approached, dropping a low curtsy that she returned much more gracefully. “Claudio doesn’t like my costume.”

“Oh, I think it’s lovely,” she said. “It brings out the color of your eyes.”

Ben turned and grinned at Claudio. “Told you.”

“Okay, okay, point conceded,” Claudio said, nervously looking back and forth between Ben and Hero.

“Well, I’m going to go find Bea now,” Ben said, looking at Claudio. “Because she is my best friend and an amazing human being and I enjoy spending time with her.”

Hero smiled and said, “She is rather amazing, isn’t she?”

“Yeah, of course she is,” Claudio said quickly. He seemed to have relaxed a bit, though it was still painfully obvious how nervous he was around Hero.

“Well, I’m off,” Ben said, doffing his tiara at both of them. And then, just before walking away, he turned back and said, “Oh, by the way, Hero, Claudio likes you.”

“Ben!” Claudio cried, his eyes wide.

Ben clapped him on the back. “It had to be done. I couldn’t take one more day of you Romeo-ing.”

Claudio had grown quite red and was clenching one fist at his side. Before he could say anything, though, Hero stepped in. “I like you too,” she said, touching Claudio’s forearm lightly.

Ben took that as his cue and slipped away, holding back a smile. He went to find Bea and found her sitting on the couch with her arms crossed, looking grumpy.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, sitting down next to her.

She glared at him. “Everyone—”

“The voice,” he interrupted, holding up a finger. “You promised.”

She rolled her eyes and dramatically flopped her arms against the couch. “Everyone is laughing at me,” she said, trying her best to do the deep, gravelly voice of Batman. It came out sounding more like a tired old man yelling at kids to get off his lawn.

Ben clamped his lips shut tight, trying really, really hard not to laugh.

“It’s not funny,” she said, still in the voice, starting to smile a little herself.

Ben cracked up.

“Stop it,” Bea-Batman said before she too started laughing.

“Okay, Bea,” Ben said once he’d regained composure, “you don’t have to keep doing the voice. I’ve gotten sufficient enjoyment out of this.”

“No way,” Bea-Batman said. “A promise is a promise.”

Ben wanted to tell her right then that he loved her, because she was an amazing human being and his best friend and there was no one he’d rather be with right now. But instead he asked her to dance. He was a terrible dancer, but Bea never minded. Frankly, she wasn’t a great dancer either, so they made a good pair.

Bea jumped off the couch and held out her hand to help Ben up. “My lady,” she said in her deepest voice.

“My Batman,” Ben returned in a high-pitched voice, batting his eyelashes at her.

As they danced with much flailing of arms, they made fun of Hero’s and Claudio’s shy awkwardness.

 

*

 

Meg was very drunk. She’d already been tipsy, and then Robbie had started flirting with April, and that had led to her and Robbie’s very loud, very public fight. Meg had thrown her drink at him and then promptly gotten another one … and another … and another.

Hero and Ursula had been spending a lot of time with her, but at this point Meg was dancing by herself with her eyes closed, a half-empty drink still in hand.

Ben had been keeping an eye on her, and when he noticed her alone, he slipped away from the makeshift dance floor and made his way over to her corner. “Hey, Nutmeg,” he said.

“Ben!” she shouted, lifting her arms up.

“You hungry?”

“Yes!” she said, her speech slurred slightly. She draped an arm over his shoulders. “I want a cheeseburger. A cheeseburger as big as my head.”

Ben laughed. “We’ll see what we can do.”

As they passed Hero and Claudio on their way out, Meg invited them to come along to get cheeseburgers. Hero looked at Ben to see if it was okay.

“Yeah, of course, come along,” Ben said. “I can drop you off after if you’d like.”

“Oh, that would be wonderful,” Hero said, clasping her hands to her chest. “Thank you!” She looked over at Claudio with a smile, and Claudio smiled back. It was the happiest Ben had seen Claudio in a long time.

Then they ran into Balth and Ursula, and Meg invited them along too. When Ben tried to point out that he couldn’t fit all of them into his car, Meg pouted.

“Oh, I’ll stay,” Balth said quickly. “I’m having fun here anyway.”

“Okay, problem solved,” Ben said, clapping his hands together. “Let’s go!”

He made one final pit stop to tell Bea that he was taking some people out for food and then dropping them off at home. But he would be back after that to drive Bea home too.

“Oh, I’m not invited to come along?” Bea asked in mock outrage. She’d finally dropped the Batman voice not too long ago.

“Sorry—car’s full,” Ben said, starting to smile already. He could always tell when Bea was gearing up to mess with him.

“Well, you’ll just have to kick someone else out.”

“You would have me put poor Hero out in the cold?”

“No, not Hero. Claudio.”

“Oh, but separating her from her dear Claudio would make her just as sad.”

“Well, then how about you give up your own seat?”

“You still don’t know how to drive stick,” Ben said.

“I’ll figure it out,” Bea said with a shrug.

“You, guys!” Meg called from across the room. “Wrap it up. I am _starving_.”

Ben laughed uncomfortably. “So I’ll be back soon.”

“Bring me something back?”

“I don’t know,” Ben teased.

“Come on, if you really loved me, you’d do it.”

“We’ll see,” Ben said with a smile. Then he pointed behind him and spun around to leave.

“To the Benmobile!” Ben shouted, and he headed out with Meg, Hero, Claudio, and Ursula.


	5. Best Friends

_June 1, 2014 (early in the morning after Pedro’s party)_

By the time Ben had dropped everyone off after getting food, it was almost three thirty. He made another quick stop and then headed back to Pedro’s. Bea was the only one left. She and Pedro were sprawled out on opposite ends of the big living room couch.

“Geez, what took you so long?” Bea asked when Ben came in.

“I blame Hero and Claudio,” Ben said. “If they hadn’t been making googly eyes at each other so much, it wouldn’t have taken them so long to eat.”

“Damn young love!” Bea said, shaking her fist. She got up off the couch. “Well, Pedro, you’re finally rid of me.”

“Oh, it’s okay,” Pedro said while simultaneously stifling a yawn.

“Uh-huh, get some sleep, bud.” She ruffled his hair as she walked past him toward Ben.

“See ya!” Ben called to Pedro, who looked like he was about to fall asleep on the couch.

As they got outside, Bea asked, “So did you bring me any food?”

“Nope,” Ben said, holding back a smile.

“Noooo! Betrayal! It’s like the Red Wedding all over again.”

Ben laughed and unlocked the car. When Bea got in, he handed her a brown paper bag. She peeked inside and grinned at him. “Kebab?”

“Yup,” Ben said, putting the key in the ignition.

Bea leaned over the seat and hugged him around the neck, pulling him down toward her. “Ben, you are seriously my favorite person in the whole world.” She let go of him and immediately started unwrapping the kebab.

Ben smiled as he pulled out of the driveway. It had meant an extra stop, but kebab was Bea’s favorite.

They’d only been apart for a couple of hours, but it felt like they had a ton of catching up to do. As Bea scarfed her kebab and licked her fingers clean, Ben told her about Claudio walking Hero to the door and how they had taken literally forever to say goodbye and about Meg throwing up—into a trash can thankfully—and about this new singer Ursula had played for him that he thought Bea would really like.

By the time Ben was done, Bea had finished her kebab. “Thanks, Ben,” she said, crumpling the wrapper and leaning back with a sigh. “For the food and for taking Hero and everyone home.”

“It _was_ a tremendous sacrifice on my part.”

“All right, princess,” Bea said, rolling her eyes. But then she added, “Seriously, though, you’re a really good friend. It’s one of my favorite things about you.”

If it weren’t so late, Ben probably would have let it slide. But you were allowed to say and ask things at four in the morning that you couldn’t at other times. “You think I’m a good friend?” he asked as nonchalantly as he could.

“Of course,” Bea said. “You’re my best friend.”

Ben always loved it when Bea casually referred to him as his best friend, as if it was such an obvious fact it didn’t really need to be said. “Yeah, but we’re … different. You don’t get annoyed with me like other people do.”

“Or maybe I’m just better at hiding it.”

“Utter betrayal!” Ben said, putting a hand to his chest. Then after a pause, he said, “I guess what I meant to ask is, do you think other people think I’m a good friend?”

“Definitely,” Bea said, twisting to face Ben more. “You don’t?”

Ben just shrugged.

“All right, real-talk time,” Bea said. “Yeah, okay, sometimes people get annoyed with you.”

“Yay,” Ben said sarcastically. “Off to a great start.”

“Just wait,” Bea said, waving her hands at him. “As I was saying, people might get annoyed with you, _but_ that doesn’t matter, because all those little annoyances”—she held a hand up, as if holding the annoyances in her open palm—“don’t mean anything next to all the good stuff.” She held her other hand up as if her hands were balance scales and then mimed the good stuff outweighing the bad. She let her fall back onto her lap. “You are always there for your friends when it really counts, when they need you the most. People notice that kind of thing, Ben.”

Ben cleared a lump in his throat. He hadn’t realized how much he’d needed to hear that until she’d said it.

“Do you remember when Hero accidentally spilled tea all over my copy of _A Wrinkle in Time_ back when we were younger?”

Ben nodded.

“And she called you.”

“That’s just because she knew everyone else would be too scared to face your wrath,” Ben teased, but he couldn’t help but smile. It was one of his favorite memories. Hero had been so distraught, but he’d managed to convince her that all the water-damage wrinkles gave the book more character and made it more “authentic.” And then when Bea came home, he told her that he had done it. Of course Hero wouldn’t let him take the blame and had immediately jumped in, offering to buy Bea a new copy. Bea had chosen to keep the original, adding it to the shelf in her bedroom with her other well-loved books, dog-eared and tea-stained.

“So,” Ben said, glancing over at Bea, “if she had to bury a body, do you think she’d call you or me?”

“Oh, definitely me,” Bea said. “As if you would know how to dispose of a body.”

“Feed it to pigs, right?”

“Yeah, but I bet you don’t have a pig guy.”

“Oh, and you do?”

Bea simply raised her eyebrows at him and smirked.

They were getting close to Bea’s house now, and Ben’s chest tightened. He didn’t want tonight to end, not quite yet. As he pulled onto her street, he wondered whether he should walk her to the door like Claudio had with Hero. He’d decided he would, but when he stopped outside Bea’s house, she didn’t make any move to get out of the car.

“You sleepy?” she asked.

“Not really. You?”

Bea shook her head. “Want to stay up a bit longer?”

“Absolutely,” Ben said.

“Okay, wait here.” She slipped out of the car and jogged up to the house.

 _She’s perfect,_ Ben thought as he watched her go. _Absolutely perfect._ He leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes with a sigh. Being her best friend was enough, more than enough, but it didn’t stop the dull ache in his chest, didn’t stop him from wanting more.

 

*

 

Bea returned to the car with two blankets; sweatpants and a T-shirt for Ben, courtesy of Leo (she’d already changed inside, into leggings and her Gryffindor shirt); and two mugs of tea—English breakfast for Ben, of course, and Earl Grey for herself. Ben awkwardly shimmied the pants on under his dress, banging his knee on the steering wheel in the process. Bea looked away as he started to take the dress off, but then it got stuck around his shoulders, so she had to set the tea on the floor and help tug it off. Once he’d slipped the T-shirt on, Bea handed him his tea.

“You’re the best,” Ben said, wrapping his hands around the mug.

“I know,” Bea said. “Windows?”

Ben turned the car back on briefly to roll down the windows and then leaned his seat back. Bea did the same and closed her eyes for a moment. She loved being up in the middle of the night—the crisp chill of the air, the quiet of the world sleeping. It always made her feel as if she existed outside of time, as if everything had stopped except for her. She was always quieter at night, tiptoeing and whispering, not wanting to break the spell. There was nothing better than the witching hour, especially if Ben was there to share it with her.

Not for the first time, she thought about what would happen after they graduated. She’d already gotten used to this, to actually being together in the same place. She didn’t know if she could go back to how it had been before, seeing each other a couple of weeks a year, Skyping every once in a while.

“Hey,” Ben said softly next to her.

Bea pushed the thoughts from her mind. She didn’t need to worry about all that yet. Ben was here right now. She opened her eyes and looked over at him. Her chest warmed at the goofy, lopsided grin he was giving her. “Hey,” she replied.

“What are you thinking about?”

“You,” Bea said without thinking.

“What … what about me?” Ben asked, sitting up slightly on his elbow.

“Feeding you to pigs,” she said.

Ben snorted and looked away from her, his grin gone now. Sometimes she wondered … She shook her head. _No_. But that was okay. Things were good.

“Bea,” Ben said, turning back to her, “I …” He hesitated. “Thanks for what you said earlier, about me being a good friend. It … it was just nice to hear.”

Bea swallowed a lump in her throat. “Well, you know I don’t say things I don’t mean.”

“What about when you called me a dickface last week?”

“Oh, I definitely meant that.”

The brief moment of tension in the car broke then, and they were just Ben and Bea again, best friends. They talked softly for the next couple of hours about everything and nothing—their vlogs, school, all the places Bea wanted to travel, the three-legged stray cat that Ben had seen catch a mouse.

As they talked, the sky lightened to a dusty blue, and the stars slowly disappeared. Bea was not a morning person like Hero, so the only time she really saw sunrises was after staying up all night. It was better this way, she thought. If you just woke up early enough to see the grand finale, it was cheating. If you really wanted to see a sunrise, this was the way to do it.

Bit by bit, the sky lightened. Birds began chirping, and the air grew humid with morning dew as pinky oranges slowly emblazoned across the sky. Bea turned to Ben, whose hair was a mess, and whispered, “Good morning.”

He grinned sleepily at her. “Good morning, Bea.”

Something twisted uncomfortably in her heart, and she looked away. She cleared her throat and announced, “Well, I suppose it’s bedtime.”

“Oh, uh, yeah,” Ben said, sitting up and yawning. “Um, do you want me to walk you to your door?”

Bea laughed. “All right, weirdo, you’re just trying to get invited in for Hero’s famous pancakes.”

“Pancakes?” Ben asked, perking up.

“Yeah, come on,” Bea said.

Ben agreed quickly, and they headed inside. Hero wasn’t up yet, so they sprawled out on the couch to wait. Ben fell asleep almost immediately, but Bea lay awake, basking in the stillness for a while longer. It had been a pretty perfect day, and she didn’t want it to end quite yet.


	6. The Moon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short one. I'm hoping to start updating more regularly!

_June 6, 2014_

Ben knew he didn’t have a right to be upset, but that didn’t change the fact that he was. Pedro had asked Bea out. _Pedro_ had asked _Bea_ out.

Ben had never told anyone except Meg about liking Bea, as Meg was the only one of all his and Bea’s mutual friends that he trusted to keep his secret. Well, he could probably trust Ursula and Balthazar too, but he wasn’t as close to them as Meg.

So Pedro probably didn’t know that Ben liked Bea, and it wasn’t like Ben could have had dibs on her anyway, because you can’t have dibs on a person. But Pedro was his mate, and Bea was … everything. Since he’d met her, not a day had gone by that he hadn’t thought about her. She was like the moon, a constant in his life, waxing and waning and sometimes disappearing from view, but still always there. Even when she was hundreds of miles away, she was present by her absence, like the silence after a thunderclap. She had woven through his life such that he could not imagine it without her.

So even though Ben knew there was no real reason for him to be mad, he was, and he hadn’t been trying to hide it. For the past couple of days he’d mostly been giving Pedro the silent treatment with a few passive-aggressive, snide remarks thrown in here and there.

By Friday, Pedro had had enough, and he cornered Ben after school. “What the hell is your problem, man?” he asked.

“Nothing,” Ben snapped, a harsh bite to his voice. He turned to leave, but Pedro grabbed his arm.

“Seriously, Ben. I’m sick of this childish shit. What’s going on?”

Ben looked down at Pedro’s hand on his arm and then glared up at Pedro, clearing his throat. Pedro removed the hand and ran it through his hair in frustration.

“Sorry to be so _childish_ ,” Ben said, bristling. “I guess we can’t all be Prince Charming.” 

Pedro just stared at Ben a moment, processing. “This is about Bea?” he finally asked. “Is she mad at me?” He scrubbed a hand across his face and groaned.

“No,” Ben said quickly, not wanting to get Bea involved in this. “She’s not mad at you.”

“But you are,” Pedro said flatly. When Ben didn’t say anything, realization dawned on Pedro’s face. “This _is_ about Bea.”

Ben briefly thought about denying it, but instead, he just shrugged, looking down at the ground.

“Ben.” Pedro waited for Ben to look him in the eyes. “I’m sorry. If I had known, I wouldn’t have asked her out—I swear.”

“It’s not even that,” Ben said, suddenly realizing what he was really mad about. “I’m not mad that you asked her out. I’m mad that I didn’t.”

“Oh,” Pedro said softly. “So why don’t you just ask her?”

Ben raised his eyebrows. “Well, you just asked her out. How did that go for you?”

Pedro snorted. “Yeah, that was … not the most fun.”

“She’d probably just get pissed at me for making our friendship awkward.”

“You said she’s not mad at me, so why would she get mad at you?”

“Because it would be different. We wouldn’t be able to just laugh it off. I honestly don’t know if we could come back from something like that.”

“You could,” Pedro said firmly. “And for what it’s worth, I think she’d say yes, though I sort of thought she’d say yes to me too, so take that with a grain of salt.”

“I dunno,” Ben sighed. “You know Bea. She’s not really into relationships.”

Pedro shrugged. “I’m just saying don’t give up hope.”

“Oh, I won’t. I don’t really think I could at this point.”

Pedro gave him a brief look of pity then. “Maybe just don’t ask on camera?”

Ben laughed. “Yeah, good advice.”

Pedro glanced at the time on his phone. “Hey, sorry, but I have to run. Hang out later?”

“Yeah, sure, thanks.”

Pedro clapped him on the shoulder before heading off toward the music wing. Ben didn’t feel mad anymore, just wrung out. He wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to ask Bea out, on camera or off. She certainly felt like the moon to him right now—thousands of miles away and out of reach.


	7. Team Love Gods

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ursula POV!! And background Pedrazar. :D

_Tuesday, June 10, 2014_

Ursula was editing what seemed like hours of footage down to just a few minutes. It was exhausting. She’d just had to stop and rewatch the same section for the third time because she had zoned out again. She definitely needed a break, so she turned around in her computer chair to face Balth, who was sitting on her bed, leaned against the wall, working out a new song.

They worked together like this a lot. Thanks to the giant noise-canceling headphones Ursula wore while editing, Balth’s playing didn’t bother her, and Balth didn’t have to feel self-conscious about composing since she couldn’t hear him anyway. So it worked out well. They each would get lost in their own projects, and then every once in a while they’d stop what they were doing so that Balth could play her what he was working on or so she could show him an interesting clip of video. Ursula always felt she worked better when Balth was around. It was nice having the comfort of someone’s presence without having that person constantly interrupt what she was doing.

Balth had been especially quiet tonight, though, far more so than normal. And he wasn’t really working on anything, just idly strumming chords. This had been going on for the past hour now, so Ursula figured it was time to address the situation.

“So how are you doing?” she asked.

“Hmm?” Balthazar said, pausing mid-strum and looking up at her. “Fine. Why?”

Ursula gave him a look. Balth had liked Pedro for forever, at least since year 9. Recently Ursula had noticed Balth glancing at her computer more often, watching the footage from the corner of his eye. It seemed to happen the most when Pedro was on-screen. Even if Balth weren’t her best friend, she’d have to be pretty clueless not to realize why he was upset. “Because Pedro asked Bea out,” she said.

“Oh. That.” He set his ukulele to his side.

“Yes. _That_.”

“It’s fine,” he said, shrugging.

“No, it sucks.”

“Yeah,” Balth said, laughing slightly. “It kind of does.” He looked down at his hands clasped in his lap.

“Can I show you something?”

“Uh, yeah, sure,” Balth said. He scooted to the edge of the bed as she turned back to her computer.

Ursula pulled up the footage of her interviewing everyone in March. She jumped forward through it until she found the bit she wanted. She pointed to the screen and said, “You and Pedro.”

“I can see that,” Balth said, shifting slightly.

“See how far apart you are?”

Balth nodded.

Ursula found another spot further on. “Now look.” There was now only a few inches of space between Balth and Pedro.

Balth gave her a confused look. “Okay, and?”

Ursula jumped forward a bit more in the footage and paused it. Balth and Pedro were now so close that they were touching, almost their entire sides pressed together. She swiveled around and looked at Balthazar, her arms crossed. “Is that really how you stand with most of your friends?”

Balthazar blushed and ran a hand through his hair, making it stick up and then smoothing it back down.

“That was him. He moved,” Ursula said, “not you.”

Balth looked up at her, holding back a smile. “Yeah?”

She nodded. “And there’s this.” She started playing a bit of the video.

In the video, Balthazar was saying, “I feel—I know it’s a joke—but I feel some insult-y vibes from you sometimes. But don’t worry; I know you love me.”

“Yeah, I love … I love you,” Pedro responded. “How could I not?”

Ursula stopped the video.

“He was clearly joking there,” Balth said immediately, as if he had already replayed this scene dozens of times in his mind, which he probably had.

“Maybe,” Ursula said, shrugging. “But you guys spent 90 percent of that interview looking at each other and not the camera.”

Balth smiled and ducked his head. He looked back up at her. “That still doesn’t change the fact that all signs point to him liking girls.”

She crossed her arms. “I _just_ showed you all the signs pointing to him liking guys too, specifically one guy—you. I mean, he’s been walking you home every day for weeks now, and it’s completely out of his way.”

Balth just shrugged.

“Okay, let’s do a little test,” Ursula said.

“What kind of test?”

“Text him and ask him to call you.”

Balthazar shifted uncomfortably. “I don’t see what that will prove.”

“I texted him an hour ago asking him to call me—still no call. I bet he calls you within five minutes.”

Balth hesitated and then agreed. He typed out a message with the exact same wording as Ursula’s earlier text, but he didn’t send it yet. “What am I supposed to say if he calls?”

“ _When_ he calls, just give me the phone. I really do want to talk to him. I think it’s time to put Team Love Gods into action.”

Basically everyone in their friend group knew that Ben and Bea liked each other, but with all the footage Ursula had been reviewing, she was a little more tuned in to everyone’s various relationships. So it wasn’t surprising that she had been the one to come up with the idea for Team Love Gods, though Hero had come up with the name. Ursula had talked about the plan already with everyone but Pedro and Claudio, who were the only two who didn’t realize that Bea and Ben were super obviously into each other. She’d seen Ben and Pedro talking last week, though, so she had a feeling Pedro knew now, and Hero could fill Claudio in.

“Yeah?” Balth said, text still unsent.

“Definitely,” Ursula said. “I don’t think I can take any more of this.” She pulled up a clip of Bea giving Ben a piggyback ride.

Balth laughed. “They have been pretty inseparable recently.”

“So you done stalling now?”

“Yeah,” Balth said with a crooked smile, and he pressed send on the text to Pedro. He sighed and put his phone down in his lap, face-up. After a moment he said, “I really don’t think—”

His phone rang, Pedro’s name popping up on the screen.

“Uh-huh, what was that you were going to say?”

Balth was holding back a smile again. He picked up the call. “Hey,” he said. After a pause, he said, “Oh, well, actually, I’m here with Ursula, and she wanted to talk to you about something. A plot.” There was another pause. “Nah, like a good-guys’ plot. A plan, really. Here, she can explain it better.” He handed the phone over to Ursula.

“Hey, Pedro,” Ursula said. “I saw you talking to Ben last week. I’m assuming you know now that he likes Bea?”

“Uh … I …” Pedro stammered. He cleared his throat. “I can neither confirm nor deny that.”

Ursula laughed. “Okay, I’ll take that as a yes.” She explained the general idea of the good-guys’ plot, and they made plans to get everyone together that weekend.

“I’ll give you back to Balth now,” she said. “You should ask him about the amazing new song he’s writing.” She held the phone out to Balth.

Balth wiped his hands on his pants and took it. “Pedro?” He paused while Pedro asked something. He glanced over at Ursula and then said into the phone, “Uh, actually, it’s the one I played you a little bit of today.”

“Go,” Ursula mouthed, making a shooing motion.

Balth gave her a grateful smile and left to take the call outside.

Once Balth was gone, Ursula texted Meg and Hero, “Team Love Gods: Sunday, 11:00. Hero, I volunteered your place—is that okay?”

“Of course!” Hero replied. “I’ll make cookies!”

Meg texted, “YAAAAS!!!”

Ursula went back to editing. After almost an hour, Balthazar came back, smiling. He pulled the sleeves of his sweater down lower over his hands as he walked over and sat on the bed. He picked up his ukulele again and started playing something Ursula hadn’t heard before.

Ursula smiled and turned back to her computer. Sometimes she really did feel like a goddess of love.

*

_Sunday, June 15, 2014_

Team Love Gods had gathered, all squished together in Hero’s room to fit in the shot.

“They’re basically already together,” Balth said to the camera.

“Yeah, somehow they are even more sickeningly cute—like, in a very dorky way—than Hero and Claduio,” Meg said. “It’s disgusting.”

“It’s _sweet_ ,” Hero protested.

“In either case,” Ursula said, “they are utterly oblivious, so we’ve decided to take matters into our own hands.”

“We’re gonna get them together,” Pedro said.

“It needs to happen,” Meg said. “The inside jokes, the giggling, the secret handshakes—I can’t take it anymore. They need to just shut up and date already, for _all_ our sakes.”

“But mostly theirs,” Hero said. “They’re perfect for each other,” she added, looking up at Claudio with a smile. His face broke into an easy grin, and he shifted closer to her, so that she was leaning against his chest a bit.

“That!” Meg shouted, pointing. “Bea and Ben are worse than that! That’s how bad it is!”

The group laughed. Hero blushed slightly and buried her face in Claudio’s chest. Claudio just smiled wider.

“We’ll keep you updated,” Ursula said, signing them off. “Stay tuned.”


	8. New Developments

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: I'm terrible at coming up with titles. I named this fic "The Stars and the Moon" because I was listening to this song at the time (Audra McDonald is just perfection): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5Z_BpYCLqU&feature=youtu.be&t=18s

_June 19, 2014_

“So Claudio and I were going to have a picnic on the beach later today, and I thought you and Ben might like to come,” Hero said. She and Bea were sitting on her bed reading.

“Ugh,” Bea said, putting down _Frankenstein_. “Picnic? With sand? That sounds terrible.”

“Oh, it won’t be that bad,” Hero said. “And I made the cutest little sandwiches, and cookies of course.”

Knowing Hero, Bea knew the food would be amazing, and that was tempting. But she had a feeling Hero was up to something. Hero was convinced that Bea and Ben were something more than they were, which they just weren’t, okay?

“You don’t want to have _two_ third wheels on your date,” Bea said.

“Oh, Claudio and I would love to have you along,” Hero said. “It would be kind of like a double date!”

Bea rolled her eyes. “Ben and I are not dating. You really need to get over that. It’s never gonna happen.”

“Really?” Hero said carefully.

Hero’s phone pinged with a text, and she looked down at it. She typed out a quick reply, smiling to herself. That probably meant it was Claudio. Bea resisted the urge to roll her eyes again.

Hero looked back up at Bea and said, “Because I think he likes you as more than a friend.”

And then, perhaps because the idea of a picnic on the beach with Ben and Hero and Claudio actually sounded quite nice, Beatrice sighed and decided to just really have this conversation with Hero. “Hero, he’s dated basically everyone at Messina High—it’s not like he has trouble asking people out. If he liked me like that, I think we would’ve dated by now.”

“Yeah, but he only ever goes out on one or two dates with girls. I think he likes you but doesn’t want to make things weird, like what happened with you and Pedro.”

Bea furrowed her brow. Ben had been weird about the whole Pedro thing. She’d figured he’d laugh it off with her, but he’d seemed annoyed by the whole thing, maybe even a little mad. Maybe … No. She shook her head slightly, remembering. She grabbed one of Hero’s pillows and hugged it to her chest. “Okay, Hero, look, I’m gonna tell you something, but you absolutely cannot tell anyone, ever, because it’s embarrassing.”

“Okay …” Hero said, shifting a little uncomfortably and glancing over her shoulder at the partially closed door.

“So I kissed Ben once.”

 

*

_What?!_ Ben thought, leaning sideways against the wall to hear better. Hero had texted him over an hour ago about the picnic, and he’d let himself in through the sliding glass door like normal. He’d been on his way to the bathroom—he had to use the one upstairs, because Claudio had rushed ahead of him into the one downstairs—and then he’d overheard Hero and Bea talking in Hero’s room. He knew he shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but he’d heard his name and … well, here he was.

“Yeah, and he acted like it never happened,” Bea said inside Hero’s room. “So I just kind of took the hint.”

What was she talking about? He couldn’t remember her ever kissing him.

“Wait, go back,” Hero said. “What happened? When was this?”

“A couple of years ago, year 11. Meg dared me to kiss him, and I did it.”

 _Oh,_ Ben thought. He did remember this. Bea had rolled her eyes, and then she’d given him a quick peck before immediately asking Ursula, “Truth or dare?” He hadn’t realized … It had just been a stupid dare!

He heard movement inside the room, so he quickly hurried back down the hall the way he’d come. He was feeling very confused. _Bea likes me. Or she used to at least._ He frowned slightly. What if he had missed his chance?

 

*

 

“It was a _dare_?” Hero asked incredulously.

“Yeah, so?”

“Bea, that doesn’t count!”

“It does too!”

“How was he supposed to know it meant anything?”

“When have I ever done something I didn’t want to do?”

“Never,” Hero sighed. Her phone pinged with another text, but she ignored it. “But how often do you turn down a dare?”

“Okay, fine, not very often. But I’ve never kissed anyone else on a dare!” Actually, she’d never kissed anyone else, period. Ben had been her first—and only, so far—kiss. But that fact was a little bit too sad and pathetic for her to share with Hero.

“In any case, it’s been two years. A lot can happen in two years.”

“How was it?” Hero asked after a moment of silence.

Bea looked over at her, her cheeks growing warm. She looked away again and clutched the throw pillow tighter to her chest. “Nice,” she said softly. She glanced back over at Hero, who was now grinning at her. She groaned and fell backward onto the bed, the pillow over her face. “Can we please never talk about this again?”

“Okay—until there are new developments.”

“There won’t be any.”

“Bea,” Hero said. She waited for Bea to remove the pillow and look at her. “He looks at you like you’re the stars and the moon.”

“Hero, I love you, but—”

“I know, I know. It’s cheesy. But seriously. Just watch your old videos with him if you don’t believe me.”

“Well, I would,” Bea said, “but I have a picnic to go to.”

“Really?” Hero said, a broad smile on her face. She glanced down at her phone to check the text she’d gotten earlier and looked back up at Bea. “Good. Because I already invited Ben over, and both he and Claudio are already here.”

Bea tried to ignore the butterflies that came to her stomach.

“Ooh, you want me to help you pick out something to wear?”

“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” Bea looked down at herself. She was wearing a comfortable pair of gray leggings and Ben’s old _Doctor Who_ T-shirt that he’d given her ages ago. Hero, on the other hand, was wearing a pretty red sundress with knee-high socks.

Hero cocked her head to the side and looked at Bea appraisingly. “No, you’re right. You look quite cute.”

Hero linked her arm in Bea’s and, a spring in her step, pulled her out of the room and down to the kitchen.

Ben greeted them excitedly, his arms in the air. “Hero picnic!”

“Beach picnic,” Hero corrected, laughing.

“I don’t know about these two, but I’m coming along for your food, not the beach.”

“Oh, I’m definitely here for the food,” Bea said.

Hero looked to Claudio, who shrugged and gave her a sheepish smile.

“Oh, all right,” Hero said. “Then how about we have our picnic here.”

They all agreed. While Hero and Claudio started moving everything to the living room, Bea and Ben made tea for everyone.

“I didn’t even know you still had that,” Ben said to Bea as they were waiting for the water to boil. He nodded to the shirt. “I can’t remember the last time I saw you wear it.”

“It’s a little big,” she said. “I usually wear it to sleep in.”

“You do?” Ben asked, raising his eyebrows.

Bea hadn’t thought anything of the comment—it was just a fact, after all—but now she felt suddenly self-conscious. “I mean, yeah,” she said, turning away to pull out the teas. “Is that weird?” She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye.

“No,” he said, shaking his head slowly. “I kind of like it actually. A lot.”

“Oh,” Bea said, her heart suddenly beating faster. She looked up at him, and he was looking at her like … like she was the stars and the moon.

Hero came in then to get the last of the food, and Bea snapped her attention back to the mugs in front of her. When the tea was done, Ben carried it out to the living room.

Once it was just Bea and Hero in the kitchen, Hero gave Bea a look and mouthed, “New developments?”

Bea just glared and turned to go into the living room. As she got to the couch, Ben leaned back, stretching his arms out across the back of the sofa. “You should see this spread,” he said with a smile.

“Hero never does anything by half,” Bea said.

She piled a bunch of the treats—petit fours, tea sandwiches, croissants, quiches, mini tarts, and chocolate chip cookies—on a big plate to share with Ben. Then she plopped onto the couch next to him and tucked her feet up, letting her knees fall toward him, so that they were almost touching him. His arm was still across the back of the sofa, behind her now, but he didn’t move it. Bea was entirely too aware of her body at the moment. She shoved a petit four into her mouth as a distraction. It was very good—chocolate and salted caramel—but it couldn’t quite take her mind off of Ben’s presence. She only got more distracted as Ben shifted slightly, resulting in his thigh just barely touching her knee. A shiver went up her spine. _This is stupid,_ she thought. They had hugged and held hands hundreds of times before, but now a stupid knee touch was making her skin tingle? _Stupid_.

When Hero came in with napkins, she gave Bea a look.

 _Yeah, okay,_ Bea thought. _Maybe there could be new developments._

*

That night Bea shut and locked her door and then grabbed her laptop. After flopping onto her bed, she pulled up her vlog and clicked on her first video.

There was a lot of laughter and smiling, and then, while she was gazing at the photos of Benedict Cumberbatch, Ben was giving her that look, that one he’d given her in the kitchen today. She paused the video. That look was definitely … _something._ How had she never noticed it before? For the first time in a long time, she thought about her and Ben actually getting together. She was far from convinced it was the foregone conclusion Hero and everyone else seemed to think it was, but it did seem like a possibility.

The thought simultaneously thrilled and terrified her. On the one hand, she _really_ wanted to kiss that stupid, adorable grin and tangle her hands in his hair, but on the other, she didn’t want to complicate things. What if trying to date just made everything weird? And they’d both be graduating soon, and who knew what would happen then. Long-distance relationships almost never worked, and Bea definitely wasn’t willing to change her plans to travel, and she would never ask Ben to change his plans either. _We might grow apart, become different people. And then we’d both end up heartbroken, resenting each other, and then—_

She mentally reeled her train of thought back in. She was getting ahead of herself. The only thing that had happened so far was Ben suggesting—okay, explicitly stating—he liked her sleeping in his shirt and sort of putting his arm around her. That wasn’t enough to start worrying about the future. Of course, that didn’t stop her from lying awake for another hour doing just that.


	9. Balthazar the Bard and Pedro, the All-Round Great Guy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay in updates! Here's a Pedro/Balth chapter, with a Bea/Ben chapter to come soon. The NMTD video this chapter is based on is Dear Benedick (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abvQmEXpqwQ).

_July 4, 2014_

Claudio and Balth were in Pedro’s room. Ben was over too, but he’d wandered off to the kitchen for tea, wrapped in a blanket like a lanky British burrito. He claimed he was sick and had been moping about all day. He did this from time to time—moped simply for the sake of moping. “Wallowing is a lost art—cathartic!” he always swore, holding his hand up dramatically, like Hamlet holding Yorick’s skull.

This time, Pedro had a feeling the current moodiness was due to Bea. He’d invited all the guys over in the hopes of cheering Ben up a bit, but so far it hadn’t worked.

“Let’s make a video!” Pedro announced suddenly.

“Yeah?” Balth said, pulling his sleeves down over his hands.

Pedro nodded. “Ben loves making them, and they’re pretty fun, actually.”

“I’m in,” Claud said. “I could do your makeup!”

“No!” Pedro and Balth said at the same time. Balth caught Pedro’s eye and smiled. _God, he’s cute,_ Pedro thought, which was pretty much what he thought every time Balth smiled at him. Not the first time, though. That had been back in year 9, when they’d been paired together as lab partners. Balth had shyly introduced himself, half raising a hand as if in a wave before quickly putting it back into his lap and fidgeting slightly. Then he’d looked up at Pedro from beneath that perfectly messy hair and smiled, and Pedro had just thought, _Oh!_ All other thought melted from his mind. He suddenly understood what people meant by magnetic attraction. This felt almost like something outside of himself, like a force of nature or fate.

“Balthazar?” Pedro said, repeating the name he’d been given.

“I know—a little weird, huh? You can call me Balth for short. And you’re Peter, right?”

“Yeah, but call me Pedro instead?”

“Oh, okay,” Balth said, obviously confused but either too polite or too shy to ask about it.

“I’ve been thinking about changing it for a while,” Pedro explained. “Peter is just so boring. And Pedro and Balthazar sounds way better than Peter and Balthazar.”

“Yeah, it kind of makes us sound like superheroes, but, like, superheroes from a really, really long time ago.”

“Totally!” Pedro said, nodding. “What would you superpower be?”

“Dunno. Probably something to do with music.”

“Oh, what do you play? Or do you sing?”

“I do a little bit of everything. Sing, piano, guitar, ukulele, viola—basically anything with strings, actually—a little bit of sax …” Balth trailed off.

“You weren’t kidding when you said a little bit of everything!” Pedro said. “That’s really cool.”

“Oh, uh, thanks. And what about you? What would your superpower be?”

“Probably just the usual—superstrength, x-ray vision.”

“Classic.”

“We’ll have to design costumes and come up with a theme song,” Pedro joked.

Later, after they’d dropped the pretense of getting together after school to work on homework and had just started hanging out as friends, they actually did just that, creating Balthazar the Bard and Pedro, the All-Round Great Guy.

Back then, Pedro hadn’t been ready to deal with his feelings for guys, so he’d shoved it all down and pretended it didn’t exist. He still wasn’t sure whether he was ready. He glanced at Balth. He definitely _wanted_ to be ready.

“Maybe we should just wing it, like Ben does,” Balth said, gesturing to the camera.

“Yeah. Sounds good to me.” Pedro got up and set up the camera.

They’d barely gotten started when Ben walked in, groaning about his headache. He awkwardly plodded his way to the bed and flopped down, still wrapped in the blanket.

“Still sick, huh?” Pedro said.

“Of course I am!” Ben said, flipping the blanket back from over his head momentarily. “It’s only been ten minutes since you asked last!”

Pedro shrugged. “Thought maybe the tea would have fixed it.”

“That’s the problem,” Claudio said. “You’re not supposed to drink _tea_ to cure lovesickness.”

“Well, then what are you supposed to drink? Wait— _lovesickness_? I’m not lovesick!” Ben heaved himself up from the bed. “I am way too tired for this.”

“Oh, come on, Ben—admit it! You’ve got the hots for someone fiery,” Claudio said as Ben started to make his way toward the door.

“Fuego,” Balth added.

“Fwoosh!” Pedro said, wiggling his fingers to make imaginary flames.

Ben paused and turned back. “Okay, feisty,” he said. “The word you’re looking for … is _feisty_.” Ben cracked a smile.

Balth grinned, and Pedro and Claudio gave a happy cheer. Ben slipped out while they were all still laughing. That was the closest Ben had come to admitting to them that he liked Bea. He hadn’t said her name, but if you had to describe Bea in one word, _feisty_ was a good one.

Pedro wondered what one word he would use to describe Balth. If Balth were to choose, he’d probably say _musician_ , but that was only part of Balth—a big part to be sure but still just one part of something larger. Pedro would probably choose _genuine_. To Pedro, that seemed to capture more than just Balth’s music, something even more intrinsic to Balth himself. Pedro wondered what word Balth would choose for him.

As they wrapped up the video, Balth asked, “You’re sure he won’t mind us uploading this?” Balth was always doing that, thinking about other people.

“Nah, he’ll be fine,” Pedro said. “Actually, let’s leave a message for him!”

“Could—could we sing?” Balth asked.

“Yeah, we can sing,” Pedro said immediately with a lopsided grin. He jumped at every opportunity he got to hear Balth sing.

They sang for a ridiculously long time, stopping many times due to laughter. Claudio was, apparently, a huge fan of One Direction and knew a surprising number of the words to “What Makes You Beautiful.” And at one point Balth jokingly grabbed Pedro’s shirt and sang to him. Pedro forced out a laugh even as goose bumps prickled along his forearms. Whether he was ready or not, Pedro was going to have to figure some things out. This was Balth, after all. He deserved someone who was all-in.

As Pedro thought some more, he decided that _genuine_ wasn’t quite the right word for Balth. _Good_? _Kind_? _True_? Balth was all of those things, but they were all too vague, too banal. Pedro thought back to when he’d really started falling for Balth.

They’d been hanging out in Pedro’s living room, and Pedro had left to grab them some snacks from the kitchen. When he’d come back, John and Balth had been sitting on the couch together discussing _philosophy_ of all things. John had quickly excused himself, and after he’d left, Pedro had quirked an eyebrow at Balth and asked, “What was that about?”

Balth had shrugged. “He mentioned a while ago that he’s reading a different philosopher each week, so I was just asking him about who this week was. Kierkegaard, apparently.”

Pedro _lived_ with John, and he’d had no idea John was doing that. But of course Balth would know. Never mind that John wasn’t the easiest person to get along with. People thought of Pedro as the popular, friendly guy, but Balth was the one who could make friends with anyone.

_Listener_ —that was it. Balth listened—to music, to people, to himself. Pedro talked, acted, pretended. Maybe that was why he couldn’t shake the feeling that he didn’t deserve Balth.

 

*

 

As soon as Balth got home from Pedro’s, he pulled out his notebook for jotting down song lyrics. He’d gotten an idea while they were all singing and goofing around together.

He wasn’t always the best at expressing himself. He liked to really think about what he said, and often conversations moved on before he had a chance to chime in. That was part of the reason he liked music so much. He could write and rewrite the lyrics as many times as he wanted, and he could use the music to convey emotion when he didn’t have the right words. And right now, music was a way for him to test the waters—to hint at what he was feeling without quite coming out and saying it.

He flipped to a new page and started writing: “This is an ode to Pedro.”


	10. Sleepover!

_August 1, 2014_

Ben went around back to sneak in through the sliding glass door. He didn’t really need to be sneaking. Bea had specifically said he could just ring the doorbell, but it felt more exciting this way, like he was a spy infiltrating a top-secret agency. Hopefully he wasn’t freaking any of the neighbors out, though.

As he got around to the backyard, Ben noticed dark figures moving in the bushes, and he may have let out a rather high-pitched yelp.

He was quickly shushed, and Pedro popped his head up. “Ben?! Get over here,” he hissed.

Ben took a look over his shoulder at the Dukes’ house and then scurried behind the bushes. This _definitely_ felt more exciting.

“What’s going on?” he whispered, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

“What is that?” Pedro asked, pointing to the DVD in Ben’s hands.

“Oh, _The Princess Bride_. Bea asked me to bring my copy over.”

Claudio snorted. He was staring at the ground, wringing his hands rather intensely together.

“You okay, bud?” Ben asked. “You have something against the amazing, hunky Westley?”

“Leave him alone, man,” Pedro said sharply.

“What’s going on?”

Pedro looked at Claudio and then back at Ben. “Uhh …” He rubbed a hand through his hair. “We sort of just found out Hero is cheating on Claud.”

Ben laughed. Nobody else did.

“Wait, you’re serious?!” Ben asked.

Pedro nodded grimly.

Ben looked back and forth between Claudio and Pedro and then suddenly realized that John was there too, sitting off behind them a few paces. Ben shook his head and looked back at Claudio, who kept his eyes on the ground. “Come on, guys,” Ben said. “This is Hero we’re talking about here. She wouldn’t do that.”

“You only know Bea’s version of Hero, so of course you think she’s ‘practically perfect in every way,’” Pedro said.

“No, I know _my_ version of Hero, and I know that she is super into Claud.” Ben turned to Claudio. “You really don’t have anything to worry about.”

Claudio looked up at him for a moment and then back down at his hands.

“How do you know?” Ben asked, looking to Pedro now.

Pedro cleared his throat and then pointed to an upstairs window. The curtains were drawn, but they were sheer. Two people were clearly engaged in rather intimate activity up there. Ben stared in shock a moment and then quickly looked away. He understood now why Claudio was keeping his eyes so firmly on the ground.

“Seriously?” Ben said, not bothering to keep the disbelief out of his voice. “An unidentifiable _silhouette_? For as much as you know, that could be _Bea_.” That thought made his stomach twist uncomfortably. “Or Leo and some girl.” _Or Meg,_ he thought. That was really the only explanation that made sense. Besides Hero, Meg was the only one at the house seeing someone.

“It’s Hero’s room,” Claudio said flatly.

“So?” Ben said. “I mean, do you realize that they’re having a _sleepover_ right now?”

“That just makes it even more disgusting!” Claudio snapped. “How slutty can she be?”

Ben set his teeth and fought back the urge to slap Claudio. “Why are you being such an ass?”

“Me? What about you?” Claudio gestured up at the window angrily. “She’s fucking some other dude right now, and you’re taking _her_ side? I know you have a thing for her cousin, but come on.”

“You know what?” Ben said. “I have a really easy way to solve all of this.” He pulled out his phone and called Hero.

She picked up on the second ring. “Hello?”

Ben turned on speakerphone. “Hi, Hero! It’s Ben.”

“Oh, hi, Ben! Are you here with the DVD?”

“Almost. Guess who I ran into on my way over.”

“Um, Tibbles the cat?”

“Nope. Your very own Claud. Here, say hi.” Ben held the phone out toward Claudio.

“What?” Hero giggled. “Hi, Claud!” she bubbled. Ben could practically hear her blushing through the phone.

“Hi, Hero,” Claudio said softly.

“Well, that’s all I wanted,” Ben said to Hero. “See you soon!”

Ben hung up and asked Claudio, “Still think she’s cheating on you?”

Claudio shook his head no and was quiet a moment, as if he was still processing everything. Then he turned and pointed angrily at John. “ _You_ said it was her!”

John held his hands up defensively. “I thought it was.”

“Look,” Pedro said, stepping between them, “this was obviously just a big misunderstanding.”

Ben snorted. “Felt more like a witch hunt than a misunderstanding to me.”

“Uh, I guess we should get out of here,” Pedro said, shifting uneasily.

Pedro and John quickly headed off to wherever Pedro must have parked, but Ben grabbed Claud by the shoulder, holding him back for a moment. “Hero’s a good person,” he said, lowering his voice to a whisper so that only Claudio could hear. “And this”—he gestured vaguely around them—“was fucked up.”

Claudio ran a hand over his face. “I know,” he said, looking at Ben. “I don’t know how I could … She’s just so perfect, you know? Cute, sweet, funny—the whole package. It doesn’t really seem possible that she’s actually _mine_.”

“Well, I’m no relationship expert, but every idiot knows you can’t have a relationship without trust.”

Claudio nodded absently and glanced at the Duke house. “Are you … are you gonna tell Hero about this?”

“I think she deserves to know. I don’t want to be the one to tell her, but I will if you don’t.”

“What if she breaks up with me?”

“She’s probably going to be hurt you didn’t trust her, but she’s one of the most understanding, forgiving people I know. She once cried when she got stung by a bee, not because of the pain, but because she felt bad that the bee had died stinging her. You just have to talk to her.”

Claudio sighed. “Yeah, you’re right. I’ll talk to her. I … I owe her an apology.”

Ben clapped Claudio on the back. “Well, duty calls,” he said, holding up the DVD. “See you around.”

Ben had had enough excitement for the night, so he walked around to the front door as Claudio headed to meet up with Pedro and John.

Bea answered just moments after he rang the bell. “Ah, you’re the best!” she squealed, snatching the DVD out of his hands.

She looked absolutely ridiculous in her giraffe onesie, and he’d never wanted to kiss her more. He also wanted to immediately rant to her about what an idiot Claudio was, but he couldn’t do that—at least not until Claudio had a chance to talk to Hero. Unable to do either of the things he really wanted to, he stood awkwardly in the doorway. “Well”—his voice cracked, and he cleared his throat—“best be off.”

“Oh, wait!” Bea rushed off, leaving the door open. She returned a moment later with a ziplock bag of homemade chocolate chip cookies. “Hero’s world-famous cookies,” she said, holding them up.

“Ahh! _You’re_ the best!” He grabbed the bag and then clapped her into a hug.

“I know,” she said, the words muffled against his chest.

He held her a bit longer than he normally would have, savoring the warmth of her in his arms and the feel of his cheek on her head. But then Meg started coming down the stairs, and he sprang back. Meg eyed him suspiciously, and he shook his head slightly at her.

“All right, I’m off,” Ben said.

He’d ridden his bike over, but he wanted some time to clear his head, so he walked the bike back instead of riding. When he got home, he sent Bea a Snapchat of him eating one of the cookies with the caption “SO GOOOOOD.” She sent back a snap with her giraffe hood up and as many cookies as she could fit stuffed into her mouth in a giant stack. It looked to be about seven. Ben immediately took a screenshot.

“Seriously?” she messaged him. “You just took a screenshot of _that_?”

“Yup. Needed a new contact photo for you,” he sent back.

“And you couldn’t have picked a flattering one?”

“I personally think it’s quite cute,” he messaged, hesitating only a moment before sending it. He then immediately began freaking out when Bea didn’t respond right away.

Eventually, she replied, with a winky face, “Yeah, but you also think baby flamingos are cute when they’re literally the most awkward thing ever.”

“You take that back!”

“Never! It’s like someone glued a baby swan on top of raptor legs.”

“That’s what makes them so cute!”

“Or terrifying.”

“Terrifyingly cute?”

“Sure, we’ll go with that.”

She then sent him a Snap of the start of _The Princess Bride_. “Thanks again for bringing it over.”

“No problem,” he replied. Then, because he was pretty tired and didn’t want to be texting her so much when she was hanging out with other people, he said, “Hey, have fun with the girls. I’m gonna head to bed.”

“Okay. Night, Ben.”

“Night, Bea. :)”

Ben set the screenshot photo of Bea as her contact image and then climbed into bed. Before he could fall asleep, his phone lit up with a new message, Meg this time: “It has been FOUR months.”

“I know,” he texted back.

“So DO something already.”

“It’s not that easy.”

She sent an eye-rolling emoji back, then: “Grow a pair.”

“I can’t not be friends with her.”

“1. I’m 90 percent sure she won’t say no. 2. Even if she did, you once farted IN HER FACE, and you’re still friends. I think you could get past this.”

“1. She’s told me to my face that she doesn’t want a boyfriend. 2. Maybe. But what if she says yes? What if everything is weird or it all crashes and burns? What then? It’s not like I exactly have a good track record with relationships.”

It took Meg a while to respond. “Yes, because you put soooo much effort into those relationships. If she says yes, literally nothing will change, except you’ll finally get to lose your virginity!”

“MEG!”

“Okay, okay. But seriously, soon?”

“Soon.”

He groaned and flopped his arms on the bed. What had he gotten himself into?

 

*

It wasn’t Bea’s fault—Meg had left her phone _right there_ when she went to the bathroom. So of course Bea had seen the text preview pop up: “1. She’s told me to my face that she doesn’t want a boyfriend. 2. Maybe. But what if she says yes? What if everything is weird or it all crashes and burns? What …”

She had mixed feelings about it. Really she wished she hadn’t seen it. It sounded like Ben was thinking of asking her out, but he didn’t seem too confident about it being a good idea. _God, we aren’t even dating yet, and he’s already thinking about it ending,_ she thought. She’d had the exact same thoughts as Ben before, but it was different when _she_ had those thoughts.

It was all stupid. She’d been in love or whatever with the dickhead for years, and he still wasn’t sure. No way was she willing to put herself out there if he wasn’t willing to do the same. They both needed to be sure if they were going to do this, because in less than a year, they might be hundreds, if not thousands, of miles apart. What then? Long-distance relationships were hard, much harder than long-distance friendships.

God, this was exactly what she didn’t like about the whole relationships thing! Now there was all this extra _weirdness_ in her life.


	11. Hero's Birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally updating again! Thank you all so much for your kind comments and patience. I know I can be bad about replying, but I read and appreciate every single comment. You're all the best, and I wouldn't still be writing this without you. 
> 
> I first started this in July of last year, and my goal is to finish it all up before a full year passes. So hopefully updates will be much more regular now. :)

_August 16, 2014, Hero's birthday party  
_

“Hero, these are the cutest little fruit tarts,” Ursula said.

“Delicious too,” said Meg.

“Hmm, I didn’t make those,” Hero said, eyeing the raspberry, kiwi, and blueberry tarts and wishing that she had been the one to make them.

“I did,” said a tall teenage boy standing by himself to the side of the food table.

“Oh, Jaques!” Hero said as she spotted him. “You made it. Thank you for coming.” Jaques was the new French foreign-exchange student. He’d come halfway through the year and would be at Messina High next year as well.

“These really are lovely,” Hero said, holding up a tart. “Did you make the crust yourself?”

He nodded.

“Oh, that’s amazing! My pastry dough always comes out rubbish. Maybe you can teach me some tricks sometime.” Hero smiled brightly at him, and he gave her a very small smile in return.

She introduced him to Meg and Ursula and then took him with her as she made the rounds around the house. She figured it was killing two birds with one stone. She could say hello to everyone and thank them for coming, and Jaques could meet them all.

As they made their way around the room, one of Hero’s favorite songs started playing.

“Oh, I love this song!” she said excitedly. “Come dance!” She grabbed Jaques’s wrist and dragged him back over to where Meg and Ursula were dancing.

After much jumping and singing from the girls and solemn shuffling from Jaques, the song ended. As Hero and Jaques continued their loop around the room, Hero spotted Claudio and rushed over to him, Jacques in tow. She stood up on her tiptoes and gave Claudio a kiss on the cheek. “You look very handsome,” she said with a smile.

“Yeah, you look nice too.” Claudio looked over her shoulder at Jaques. “Umm, who is this?”

“Oh, this is Jaques,” Hero said, turning back to her new friend. “He’s the new French foreign-exchange student. He made the most amazing little fruit tarts. I’m worried I won’t be Messina’s best baker anymore.”

“Nice to meet you,” Claudio said stiffly, looking Jaques up and down.

“You too,” Jaques said, arms crossed across his gray sweater.

“Enjoying the party?” Claudio asked. Then after a beat, he added, “The people?”

Jaques nodded. “It has been as enjoyable as could be expected. Parties aren’t really my thing.”

“Well, I’m glad you came!” Hero said. “And we’ll make sure you have fun. Right, Claudio?”

“Uh, yeah,” Claudio said slowly. He turned away from Jaques. “Hero,” he said, pulling her aside a little, “can we talk?”

“Of course,” Hero said. She turned back to Jaques. “Will you be all right on your own for a minute?”

“Why wouldn’t he be?” Claudio asked sharply.

Hero gave Claudio a questioning look. To Jaques, she said, “If you need anything, you can ask Meg or Ursula.”

“Thank you,” Jaques said, retreating back to a corner to watch the party.

Hero frowned after him but then followed Claudio outside to find someplace quiet and private to talk.

“I don’t want you to be friends with Jaques,” Claudio said as soon as they were alone.

“Excuse me?” Hero asked, laughing a little. He couldn’t possibly be serious.

“The guy just gives me a bad vibe. He’s into you.”

“He only just met me!”

“Look, I could just tell. He likes you, and I don’t want you hanging out with him.”

Hero crossed her arms across her chest. “You don’t get to tell me who I can or can’t hang out with.”

“You aren’t friends with him right now, so it’s not like I’m telling you to _stop_ being friends with him. I’m not asking that much here. Just don’t go taking him under your wing like an injured stray.”

“Claudio, you’re basically saying that you don’t trust me to be friends with him.” Hero tried to keep the hurt out of her voice. She’d always seen Claudio as this confident, funny, sweet, handsome guy, but since the misunderstanding at the sleepover, she’d learned that wasn’t how he saw himself. He’d told her that she seemed too good to be true and that he was just waiting for her to find someone better and leave him. She’d assured him that wouldn’t happen, but she wasn’t sure he believed her.

“You have plenty of friends already,” Claudio said. “Why do you care so much about this one guy?”

“I don’t,” Hero said. “But we’ve been over this. You have to trust me.”

“Stay away from Jaques, and I’ll trust you.”

She shook her head at him slowly. “That’s not how it works.”

“I don’t get it!” Claudio said, throwing his hands up in his air. “You told me that I should come talk to you if I was worried about another guy, so that’s what I’m doing.”

Hero grabbed Claudio’s hand. “I’m glad you’re talking to me about it. But I’m telling you that you can trust me. It doesn’t matter if I become friends with Jaques, because _you’re_ my boyfriend, Claudio.” She wrapped her arms around his waist to give him a hug, but he took a step back.

“It’s me or him.” He set his jaw and looked Hero firmly in the eye.

Hero’s heart seemed to freeze in her chest. Never had they hinted at breaking up before. It had never even crossed her mind. Even after the sleepover, when he’d revealed that he’d spied on her, what he’d thought she’d done, she hadn’t considered breaking up with him. Claudio made her so happy. Well, most of the time at least. She couldn’t imagine being apart from him. So it would be so easy for her to simply say yes. Claudio was right: she didn’t know Jaques, and she did have plenty of wonderful friends. But it was the principle of the whole thing!

“I’m not choosing him,” Hero said. “But I won’t promise not to be friends with him either. You have nothing to worry about, Claudio. I love you. But you can’t control my life.”

“I’m not trying to control your life! I’m just asking you to stay away from this _one_ guy.”

Hero considered doing it. Jaques seemed nice, and she felt bad for him, being all alone in a foreign country, speaking a language different from his native tongue. But it wasn’t her job to make sure Jaques settled in to Messina. He would certainly find friends. She had a feeling she would like Jaques, but she liked just about everyone. It’s not like Claudio was asking her to cut off her friendship with Bea. Going along with Claudio’s request wouldn’t really change her life. _But it’s not a request,_ Hero thought. _It’s a demand._

“No,” Hero said. “If I really believed it would be just this once, then I would do it. I really would. But I don’t think it will be just once. If I say yes now, then every time I meet a new guy, you’re going to tell me to stay away from him, and that’s not fair.”

“How can you say you love me but then not do this one little thing for me? I’d do it for you.”

“But I’d never ask you to do it in the first place!” Hero took a deep breath. “Claud, I promise you that I will never cheat on you with Jaques or any other guy. But I can’t promise you that I won’t be friends with someone.”

“Fine,” Claudio said. “I see who’s more important to you. We’re done. Have a nice party, Hero. Say hi to Jaques for me.” He turned and started to walk away.

“Claudio!” Hero called after him, hot tears stinging her eyes. “Please don’t.”

He didn’t turn around. Hero sank to the ground in her pretty new blue dress and wrapped her arms around her knees. She sat there quietly for a few moments, more confused than anything. How could something be over so quickly? They’d been happy just fifteen minutes ago … hadn’t they? Maybe the past couple of weeks hadn’t been going as well as she’d thought.

Tears came eventually, and she didn’t bother holding them back. Everyone already thought she was soft and fragile anyway. What did a few tears matter? She squeezed her eyes shut and cried, fighting to catch her breath.

After a few moments, someone cleared their throat behind her. She wiped her eyes, which felt swollen and puffy, and patted her hands along her face. She was sure her cheeks were a blotchy red mess, but there wasn’t much she could do about it. She twisted around to find Jaques awkwardly standing nearly ten feet away from her. She sobbed again immediately at the sight of him and turned her face away.

“Are you all right?” he asked.

She glared at him from bleary eyes. “What a stupid question,” she snapped. It wasn’t his fault. She knew that. But still … of all the people, why did it have to be him to come find her?

Jaques took her harsh tone in stride, even smiling a little. “Yeah, that was a stupid question. I’ll try again. Is there anything I can do?”

“No. Just go away.”

“Okay,” Jaques said. “I’ll go. Do you want me to get someone else instead?”

“Bea,” Hero said without having to think.

Once Jaques had walked away, Hero realized that she hadn’t had the chance to introduce him to Bea yet. He obviously still managed to track her down somehow, though, because Bea was soon hurrying outside, a glass of water in hand.

“What’s wrong?” Bea asked as soon as she was close. She sounded slightly out of breath. “Was it that moody-looking new guy? He said he didn’t know what was wrong, but—”

“No,” Hero interrupted quickly, smiling slightly at the thought of poor Jaques getting interrogated. She probably should have warned him before sending him after Bea. “Will you sit down already?”

Bea lowered herself carefully to the ground and handed the glass of water to Hero.

“And stop looking at me like that,” Hero added.

“Like what?”

“Like I’m a baby rabbit with a broken leg or something.”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry.”

Hero took a sip of the water and then rested the cool glass against her hot cheek. They sat in silence for a while. Bea kept fidgeting, clearly wanting to say something, but she managed to stay quiet. Finally, Hero said, “Claudio just broke up with me.”

“What?! On your birthday? Do you want me to kill him? I’ll kill him. You were always too good for him.”

Hero choked out a laugh. “Yeah, he thought so too. Sort of.”

Bea gave Hero a confused look, but Hero just shook her head, indicating she didn’t want to talk about it. Bea wrapped an arm around Hero’s shoulders and hugged her tightly. It made Hero feel like crying all over again.

“How are you feeling?” Bea asked.

“I’m okay.”

“You don’t look okay.”

“I know. But it doesn’t seem real yet.” Hero took a shaky breath, blinking back fresh tears. “Like, even though I’m crying right now, I don’t _feel_ it. I don’t feel sad or angry or anything. But my body knows that I’m _supposed_ to be sad, and so …” She gestured to her face and then wiped her eyes. After a long pause, she said, “It’s stupid.”

“Claudio? Yeah, I agree.”

Hero gave Bea a sad smile. “No. The fact that part of me thinks Claudio will text me tomorrow and apologize, and then everything can go back to normal.”

Bea gave her a skeptical look but said nothing.

“What?” Hero asked.

“I don’t know what happened—beyond Claudio being a complete idiot—but based on the fact that you’re sitting on the ground crying on your sixteenth birthday, it doesn’t seem to me like everything can go back to normal.”

“No, probably not … I don’t know if I’d want that anyway.” Hero fell silent again for a bit, preoccupying herself with braiding the grass at her feet. After a while, she said, “He asked me not to be friends with Jaques, and I said no.”

“Are you kidding me? He broke up with you over that? How dare he ask that in the first place!”

One of the grass strands Hero was braiding snapped, and she started on a new patch—a french braid this time. “So if Ben asked you not to be friends with someone for him, you wouldn’t do it?”

“Absolutely not,” Bea said immediately. “Unless he had a really good reason, like they were a murderer or hated _Game of Thrones_ or something.”

Hero snapped another blade of grass, and she gave up on the task. “I guess I have to go back to my party soon, huh?”

“Forget about the party. I’ll kick everyone out. I’ll just tell them you got the flu or something.”

“I don’t know …” It seemed awfully rude to do that, but Hero was just so _exhausted_. She sighed. “Yeah, would you?”

“Consider it done. Just give me ten minutes or so to clear everyone out. You want to watch a movie or anything? We’ve got plenty of cake and cookies and snacks.”

“Actually, I think I just want to be alone for tonight—if that’s okay.”

“Yeah, of course.” Bea was giving Hero that broken-bunny look again, but Hero ignored it.

“You can tell Ben if you want—about what happened. And would you tell Meg and Ursula and Leo too? I think I’d rather have you tell them than me.”

“Sure.” Bea gave Hero another hug. “I’ll let you know when the coast is clear, okay?”

Hero nodded. Bea gave her hand one more squeeze and then left to take care of the party.

Hero still felt as if she was broken into several pieces inside that were grating together, demanding attention, but it wasn’t as bad as it had been. Before, it had felt irreparable. Now, it felt like the pieces were just rearranging themselves. Into something harder, maybe, and more guarded, but something that was still _her_.


	12. Aftermath

_August 16, 2014_

John might not be as charismatic or athletic as Pedro, but he had one advantage over his half brother: basic observational skills. When you spent your life in the background, skirting among _perfect_ Pedro’s shadows, you noticed things—nervous fidgeting, exchanged glances, tentative smiles. John was always watching, always listening. And so, while Pedro and the other guests remained blissfully unaware, John knew the truth: Hero was not “sick.”

When a none-too-happy Claudio had pulled Hero aside earlier, John had slipped outside to follow—not to spy, per se, but just to see what was happening. He’d held back to avoid being seen, far enough that he had not heard the details of the conversation, beyond something to do with Jaques, but close enough to see Claudio storm off and Hero break down in tears. John could fill in the gaps well enough.

John had considered giving up after his first plan had derailed on the night of the sleepover, but Pedro _was_ always talking about how much John could accomplish if he simply “applied himself.” John could make this new situation work for him. In fact, he already had an idea. He would show everyone the cracks in perfect Pedro’s porcelain, and in the process, he’d show Pedro exactly what he was capable of accomplishing.

 

*

 

Bea had started kicking everyone out of the party early—none too gently, either—and Pedro was a little bummed. He’d been looking forward to spending the night with Balth. So when Balth mentioned that a nearby coffee shop was doing an outdoor showing of _Jurassic Park_ , Pedro jumped on the idea. “Yeah, let’s go. That sounds awesome,” he said.

“Okay.” Balth smiled. “Should we, uh, invite anyone else?” He glanced to the side, pulling his sleeves over his hands.

“Oh! I thought …” Pedro cleared his throat. “I figured it’d just be the two of us, ’cause, you know, Bea and Ben are probably going to hang out, and John just wants to go home, and Claudio will probably be taking care of Hero or something, and I don’t think Ursula or Meg would be into _Jurassic Park_. Well, actually, I could see both of them really liking _Jurassic Park_ , though for very different reasons, but—” Pedro broke off. Balth was grinning at him. “What?”

“You’re rambling,” Balth said, as if surprised but also … pleased by that fact.

“Oh, uh, sorry, I guess?”

“No, I didn’t mean—” Balth stopped and started over. “I just don’t think I’ve ever seen you flustered before.”

“Really?” Pedro asked in shock. He’d definitely felt flustered with Balth many times before this.

“It’s … kind of cute,” Balth said softly.

Pedro’s cheeks felt like they were on fire. “Oh, yeah?” he said, struggling to hold back a huge grin. “You think I’m cute?”

Balth shrugged. “You’re tolerable, I suppose,” he teased.

“Okay, so just the two of us, then?”

“Yeah,” Balth said, “I’d like that.”

“All right, it’s a date.” Pedro didn’t bother trying to hold back his grin anymore.

 

*

 

Ben was exhausted. He hadn’t been in the party mood to start with today, but he’d of course still come. He couldn’t miss Hero’s sixteenth. Then Claudio had dumped Hero, and everything had gone downhill. Ben had helped Bea get rid of everyone, and in the two hours since, while Bea was upstairs with Hero, he and Leo had put away all the food and done the dishes. Leo had gone upstairs a while ago, and Ben was waiting down in the living room, sprawled out on the couch. He just felt like he should stay.

“Hey,” Bea said from behind him. He twisted around to look at her. She’d changed into pajamas, and her eyes were red. She gestured at her face. “Sympathy crier.”

“I know,” Ben said, smiling slightly. He liked to tease her about that.

She walked around the couch and sat next to him. He put his arm around her shoulders, and she wiggled until she found a comfortable position, her head on his chest.

“I hate this,” she said. “There’s nothing I can do to make it better.”

“It’s not about making it better. It’s just about being there.”

“Yeah, I guess, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.” Bea plucked at his shirt absentmindedly. “Thanks for staying, by the way. You didn’t have to, but I’m glad you did.”

“Me too,” Ben said. “Besides, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to see your ugly crying face again.”

“What?!” Bea said, pulling away from him and sitting up slightly.

“Oh, yeah, it’s _hideous_. Has no one ever told you before?”

“Ben!” She was trying to sound outraged but not doing a very good job at it.

“Yup. So blotchy and puffy and—” He cut off as Bea hit him with a pillow. She hit him a few more times, laughing, until he held up his hands in surrender.

“ _Doctor Who_?” she asked.

“Sure, ten and Donna?”

“Of course.”

Bea got up to put on some old _Doctor Who_ and then curled back up on the couch against Ben’s side. Normally, Ben would be debating what exactly this cuddling meant, talking himself into and then out of telling her how he felt, but the exhaustion of the day weighed on him. He should be memorizing the moment—the smell of her hair, the rhythm of her breath, the heat of her against his side. But instead, all those things were simply lulling him to sleep.

“Ben?” Bea asked after the second episode.

“Hmm?” he grunted sleepily.

“I’m going to head to bed. You want to go home or spend the night?”

“Spend the night,” Ben said, eyes still closed. “I live here now, on this couch. Never moving again.”

“I’ll get you a pillow and some blankets.”

“Okay.”

“That means I have to get up.”

“But you’re so warm,” he whined. She started to stand up, but he pulled her back down to the couch, holding her tighter. “Nope, you live here now too.” She squirmed halfheartedly and then relaxed against his chest.

They lay there together for a moment, and then Bea said, “I do still need to get up eventually.”

He sighed dramatically and reluctantly loosened his hold. She didn’t move, though.

“You could just sleep in my bed, if you want,” she said, the words hurrying from her mouth. “It would probably be more comfortable.”

“What?” Ben cracked open an eye and looked down at her. She was playing with his shirt again, not looking at him.

“Forget it,” Bea said, getting up quickly. “I don’t know why I said that.”

“No, wait, I’m coming.” Ben rolled off the couch with a thud. “Ow.”

Bea rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on.” She grabbed his hand to help him up and didn’t let go until they were inside her room. She found a pair of basketball shorts and a T-shirt that would fit him and threw them at him. She crawled into bed and turned away from him while he changed.

When Ben was done changing, he hesitated, wondering how this was supposed to work logistically, as Bea’s bed was pretty small. He took a deep breath and eased himself under the covers slowly. He was careful to leave some space between him and Bea, but Bea shifted almost immediately, closing the space he’d left. He looped an arm over her side, and she pressed her back more fully against his chest.

Ben immediately regretted his decision to leave the couch. He was in _Bea’s bed_. Not sitting on top of the covers, chatting, but under the sheets, his body curled around hers. Somehow cuddling in her bed was _very_ different from cuddling on the couch. How many times had he fantasized about this exact situation? He imagined her twisting around in his arms, grabbing his face and kissing him, rolling so that she straddled him … He stifled a groan. Such a bad idea. What had he been thinking?

He’d never wanted anything as much as he wanted Bea. It had been getting harder too—not kissing her, not telling her he loved her. Ben always tried not to hope too much when it came to Bea. The less he hoped for, the less chance he had for disappointment. But … something had shifted in the past few weeks. What had once seemed impossible now felt inevitable, though still fragile, like they were slowly weaving a glass spiderweb. They added new strands each day, strengthening it, but with one strong gust of wind, it could all shatter.

Ben could feel his thoughts getting away from him, and he focused on the rise and fall of Bea’s stomach against his arm, matching his breaths to hers. As he nuzzled his nose softly in her hair, his worries faded into the background, and his chest expanded with a warm burn. In this moment, everything was perfect.

 

*

 

Hero’s head ached. After Bea had left, she’d cried herself dry, and now her head was paying the price. She groaned and rolled over onto her back. She was back to feeling empty inside, a brief respite of numbness. Just hours ago, she’d been so happy. “Worst birthday ever,” she whispered into the darkness, choking out something between a laugh and sob. She was grateful when sleep finally came.


	13. No-Man's-Land

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, the bad news is that this is going to take me longer to finish than I'd hoped, but the good news is that part of the reason it's going to take longer is because I've decided to expand things a bit. I originally was going to wrap things up in just another couple of chapters, but now I'll probably have another eight or so chapters. Thanks for sticking with me—it will definitely get finished eventually!

_August 17, 2014_

Bea woke at dawn, to the first rays of light filtering in through her blinds. She’d forgotten to close the curtains before going to bed last night. She told herself it was because of her worry about Hero and that it had nothing at all to do with Ben. It was a little difficult to truly convince herself of that, though, when she could still feel Ben next to her in bed.

Last night, suggesting that he sleep in her bed hadn’t seemed like such a big deal. Sure, she’d been nervous about asking him, but she’d shared beds with other friends before, and her bed really was more comfortable than the couch, though maybe not with two people squeezed into it. Plus, she and Ben had been pretty cuddly recently, and cuddling in a bed wasn’t that different from cuddling on the couch, right?

Now that she and Ben had _slept together_ , though, it definitely seemed like a big deal. What had she been thinking? Obviously this was weird. Oh, God, what if she’d made Ben feel awkward? He _had_ seemed to hesitate when she’d asked. Maybe he’d just wanted to be nice, since she’d had such a terrible night.

 _Or maybe he likes you,_ Bea thought. Really, that had to be it, right? Because this _was_ weird. She would never share a bed with Pedro or Balth. Just the thought of that made her slightly uncomfortable, whereas the thought of sharing a bed with Ben made her stomach do a happy somersault. It was probably the same for Ben, right? He must have _wanted_ to sleep with her, or he would’ve said no.

And the cuddling—that was weird too. Friends didn’t cuddle like that, right? So what did that make her and Ben? Were they dating now? Obviously they couldn’t be, because neither of them had asked the other out on a date. But a date was just hanging out with someone you were romantically interested in, so if Ben was interested in her romantically and she was interested in him romantically, then they were sort of dating, right?

Bea had heard once that people would believe a lie simply because they wanted it to be true or because they feared it to be true. So maybe she just wanted Ben to like her, and she was reading into things too much. Then again, maybe she was just afraid Ben _didn’t_ like her, and that was why she was dismissing what should be pretty obvious signs.

The issue, she decided, was that they hadn’t kissed. To Bea, aside from explicitly telling someone you like-liked them, kissing was the clear dividing line between friends and something more. Right now they were in a confusing no-man’s-land, but as soon as they kissed, there wouldn’t be any doubt.

Ben stirred slightly next to her, and she froze, heart pounding in her chest. She felt utterly terrified and then felt utterly ridiculous for feeling that way.

As Ben’s breathing fell back into a deep rhythm, Bea thought about all that had happened to Hero last night. Seeing Hero so heartbroken certainly hadn’t done anything to ease Bea’s fears about non-platonic entanglements. Ben wasn’t Claudio, but still …

Bea suddenly felt guilty for being so self-centered and thinking so much about Ben. She should be thinking about Hero. Actually, she could do one better. Hero had always been an early riser. There was a good chance she was up already too and could use some company.

Mind made up, Bea slid out of bed, careful to not wake Ben, and tiptoed across the room to the door. She paused briefly, glancing back at Ben. She hated how much she liked seeing him in her bed. She opened the door just a crack, in case Leo or Hero happened to be passing by at that exact moment. The coast clear, she snuck out.

She headed down to the kitchen instead of Hero’s bedroom. Hero always baked on Sunday mornings. Hero also tended to bake when she was feeling sad or angry. Happy too, actually. Maybe Hero just processed all her feelings through baking. Bea only ever really worried about Hero if she _wasn’t_ baking.

Sure enough, Bea found Hero in the kitchen, her hair in a neat ponytail and apron on.

“So what’s the project for today?” Bea asked as she set about making herself some tea. Hero already had a half-drunk cup on the counter.

“Blueberry lemon tarts.”

“Your own shortcrust pastry?”

Hero nodded. “It’s blind-baking right now.”

Hero had forced Bea to watch _The Great British Bake-Off_ with her. Bea had protested at first, but she’d ended up getting really into it. She’d never be a master baker herself, but she liked understanding enough that she could talk to Hero about it, since Hero obviously loved it so much.

Hero seemed better today. Her face was still a little puffy, and she’d probably cried again this morning, but she seemed more sure of herself, less beaten down.

Bea hoisted herself up on the counter next to Hero’s surprisingly clean workspace. “How are you feeling?” she asked.

Hero didn’t answer right away, taking a sip of tea as she thought about it, both hands wrapped around the mug. “Pretty terrible,” she said finally. “Mostly sad but also a little angry.”

“At Claudio?”

Hero nodded. “I just … I tried, you know? I really did. I tried to be a good girlfriend, but it’s like it wasn’t good enough.” She glanced away from Bea, focusing on the recipe in front of her, and added softly, “Like _I_ wasn’t good enough.”

“Hero!” Bea said immediately, almost scolding. “That’s not true. You are too good enough.”

“I know,” Hero said quickly. “At least, in my head, I know it. I just don’t really feel it right now. And that’s what I’m angry about, that he made me feel this way, especially after—” Hero abruptly stopped talking. She hesitated a moment and then said, “Breakups just suck.”

“Wait, after?” Bea asked, confused. “After what?”

“Uh … just after … everything.”

Bea gave Hero a disbelieving look.

“Oh! I need to check on the crusts,” Hero said, clapping her hands together.

“Hero,” Bea said sternly, “I can see the timer right there. You have ten minutes. So, after what?”

Hero finally told her then, about Claudio’s misunderstanding at the sleepover.

“I’ll kill him. I really will,” Bea said. “Or maybe that’s too good for him. I’ll rip out his heart and—”

“Bea,” Hero interrupted, “this is why I didn’t tell you.”

“What? But he sucks! He’s the absolute _worst_!”

“He’s not,” Hero said.

“He broke up with you on your _birthday_!”

Hero’s face crumpled slightly, and Bea immediately felt terrible.

“Yes, he has done some stupid, thoughtless things,” Hero said. “But he has also been incredibly sweet. All I can seem to think about right now is the bad stuff, but he made me really happy … Right now, all those good memories seem to hurt even more than the bad ones, but I still don’t want to lose them.”

Bea didn’t understand how any of those memories could ever be untainted again, but Hero was a kinder person than she was. “Fine,” she said begrudgingly. “But I will kick his ass if you change your mind. And I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about the sleepover!”

“I’m sorry,” Hero said. “I should’ve told you. I just … I knew you’d want me to break up with him, and I didn’t want you to be disappointed in me.”

“Disappointed?” It felt like a punch to Bea’s gut. “Hero, I wouldn’t have been disappointed in you.”

Hero gave Bea a look.

“Really! I wouldn’t!” Bea insisted. Truthfully, a small part of her did feel disappointed, but not in Hero, just in the general situation. If Hero had broken up with Claudio after the sleepover, then Hero wouldn’t be feeling so terrible right now, but Bea didn’t fault Hero for forgiving Claudio and giving him another chance. She’d been on the receiving end of Hero’s forgiveness too many times to fault her for it.

“I can’t believe Ben didn’t tell me either,” Bea said.

“It wasn’t really his secret to tell.”

“I know, but we tell each other everything. Or at least I thought I did.” Bea really was pretty annoyed, almost mad even. Ben had known Hero was dating an asshat, and he hadn’t done anything about it. If he’d told Bea, she could’ve tried to talk Hero into breaking up with Claudio. (Just because she’d never be disappointed in Hero didn’t mean she wouldn’t still try to give Hero advice.)

“Where is Ben anyway?” Hero asked suddenly.

“What?” Bea asked, trying not to panic. “Why would I know? Home, probably.”

“His car’s still here,” Hero said.

“Oh! I think he went somewhere with Meg or Pedro or someone after the party. He’ll be by later to pick his car up.”

“Why would he—”

“Don’t you need to be working on the filling?” Bea interrupted. “Do you want some help?”

Hero gave Bea a skeptical look but didn’t pursue the subject. “Actually,” she said in response to Bea’s question, “I don’t want to be rude, and you’re of course welcome to stay and help if you want, but I was kind of expecting some alone time.”

“Oh …”

“It’s not that I don’t appreciate—”

“No, no, it’s okay,” Bea said, waving her off. “I get it. Just … just know that I’m here, whenever.”

“I know, Bea,” Hero said with a smile. “I’ll come get you when they’re done, and you can be my official taste tester.”

Bea smiled. “That sounds great.” She slapped her hands on the counter. “Well, guess I’ll be leaving.”

“Okay, say hi to Ben for me,” Hero said as she turned back to her mixing bowl.

Bea’s face instantly felt six times hotter. “What?” she asked.

“Oh, you know, whenever you see him next.” Hero glanced over her shoulder at Bea with a sly smile.

“Uh … yeah, okay, I’ll do that,” Bea said and hurried from the kitchen before Hero implied anything further.

Bea headed upstairs and slid back into her bedroom. She froze. Ben was awake, lying in her bed on his back, hands behind his head. He had been staring up at the ceiling, but now he turned his head to look at her.

“Hey,” he said softly.

“Hi,” Bea said, feeling herself smile before she could stop it. She reminded herself that she should be mad at Ben right now for the Claudio thing. It was hard to focus on that, though, when he was lying in her bed with messy hair and that lopsided grin that always seemed to make her melt recently, the one he only used with her. It felt like her chest was filled with warm helium. _I love him,_ she thought suddenly. She’d never been more sure of anything. “Oh my God,” Bea whispered aloud. “Oh my _God!_ ”

“Uh, Bea, everything okay?”

Bea snapped her eyes toward Ben, who had sat up and was looking concerned. Bea stared at him for a moment, feeling frozen. “You snore,” she said abruptly. “And I have to pee.”

She turned and left the room without waiting for a response, though she heard a confused “What?” from Ben as she closed the door. She took off briskly down the hall to the bathroom and nearly sprinted the last few steps when she thought she heard a door creak down the hall. She shut the bathroom door behind her and leaned her back against it. Her heart was pounding, and she felt jittery, like she’d had three cups of coffee. She took a couple of deep breaths.

Of course she loved Ben. He was her best friend. And she’d had a crush on him for as long as she could remember. But _that_ , back there in her bedroom, was something different, something she hadn’t allowed herself to feel before. She wasn’t sure if she could come back from something like that, if she could ever see Ben as just a friend again after feeling like that, and that was a terrifying thought. As scared as she was, though, she was also so happy it hurt.

“Okay,” Bea said quietly to herself, nodding. “Okay.” If she couldn’t go back at this point, she might as well go forward. It was time to leave no-man’s-land and tell Ben how she felt. Piece of cake, right? Bea sank to the floor with a groan and banged her head against the door.

Bea stalled for an embarrassingly long time, just sitting on the bathroom floor. Finally, she took a deep breath and went back to her bedroom. She paused outside the door, told herself, _You can do this_ , and marched inside. She took one look at Ben sitting on her bed and balked. She started pacing, thinking it would be easier if she didn’t look at him. “So …” She reached one end of her room and turned around. “Um … well …” She paused in her pacing. “Hmm …” She turned to Ben, opened her mouth, and then closed it again. She pointed her finger at him and cocked her head to the side, about to say it, but then she just started pacing again.

Ben got off the bed and stopped her pacing, holding her gently by the elbow. “Bea, what’s going on?”

Bea looked up at him. Her heart was pounding so hard and so fast it felt like a roar in her ears. “I …” She couldn’t do it. She just couldn’t.

“Did I do something?” Ben asked, worry etched on his face. “Is it about last night? I’m sorry if—”

He was interrupted by a knock.

“Bea?” Hero called through the door. “Tarts are almost done. Ready for taste-testing duty?”

“Definitely!” Bea replied. “I’ll be right down.” She heaved a sigh of relief and turned back to Ben. “Okay, you need to sneak out and pretend like you just showed up to get your car.”

“But what—”

“We can talk about it later,” Bea interrupted. “Right now we have to sneak you out before Leo wakes up.”

Ben seemed about to protest but then sighed. “All right.”

Bea managed to usher him downstairs and out the back door without Hero noticing, and he knocked on the front door just a little bit later.

“That’s probably Ben,” Bea said as nonchalantly as possible as she passed Hero in the kitchen. “I’ll get it.”

When Bea opened the front door, Ben was nervously running his fingers through his hair. He looked even more worried than he had before.

Without another thought, Bea took a step forward, stood on her toes, and kissed him. It was a quick peck, over almost even before she realized she’d actually done it. After, Ben just stared at her with wide eyes.

“Oh, God, I’m sorry,” she muttered quickly, feeling mortified. “I have to go—Hero and everything …”

As she went to take a step backward, though, Ben wrapped his arms tightly around her waist, pulling her back toward him. “I like you,” he blurted. “A lot. Like a lot, a lot.”

Bea kissed him again, slower, and this time Ben kissed her back. It was soft and sweet and perfect. Sure, they accidentally smooshed their noses together and weren’t quite in perfect sync, but that didn’t matter. They’d get better at that part with practice, which Bea intended to do a lot of. What did matter was the warm certainty Bea felt inside that said, _This is right_.

Bea finally pulled away from the kiss, only then realizing that she’d been holding her breath. Ben had a dopey grin on his face, and she knew she had one to match.

“So that just happened,” Ben said.

“Yeah it did!” Bea held her hand up for a high five, and Ben smacked it.

Bea glanced over her shoulder into the house. She really wanted to keep kissing Ben, but she also wanted to be around for Hero if needed. She looked back at Ben. “I should go,” she said with a sigh. “I want to spend the day with Hero.”

“Yeah, of course,” Ben said. “Is there anything I can do? Want me to pick up some ice cream or movies or something?”

Bea almost told him then that she loved him, but it was way too soon for that. So she hugged him instead, as tight as she could, not letting go until he grunted slightly.

“I think we’re all set,” she said, “but I’ll let you know.”

“Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow?” he asked.

“Definitely.”

Ben leaned down to give her a quick kiss, his lips brushing her cheek instead of her lips this time. It somehow made Bea’s stomach flip-flop just as much as their other kiss had.

 _I could get used to this,_ she thought with a smile as she headed back inside.

 


	14. A Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally updating again! Honestly, I really don't know when this will be finished, as I haven't had much time to write recently. But I promise that I WILL finish it; it'll just take some time. :) Thank you all for sticking with me!

_August 18, 2014_

By Sunday night, Hero had begun to feel better, but Monday morning, she awoke with an overwhelming sense of dread. She really didn’t want to go to school. Every day Claud met her at her locker before school started, and then they walked to class together. She hadn’t heard from him since her party, so she assumed he wouldn’t be waiting for her at her locker today.

Still, when she saw a tall boy leaned up against her locker, his back to her, she thought it was Claud at first. As she got closer, she realized it was Jaques. She immediately felt a knee-jerk spasm of guilt in her stomach, like that time she’d spilled tea all over Bea’s book, except this time she’d done nothing wrong. She knew that, but it didn’t stop her from feeling guilty all the same.

Jaques was obviously waiting for her, but he was the last person she wanted to see right now. She was about to duck into the bathroom and avoid the situation entirely when Jaques happened to glance over his shoulder and see her. He waved slightly, and she headed toward him with a sigh.

“Hi, Jaques. Do you needing something?” she asked a little curtly.

If Jaques noticed or was put off by her icier-than-usual tone, he hid it well. “Madame Chen said I should talk to you about the French conversation club,” he said smoothly in flawless, though accented, English. Hero wondered whether he’d planned out ahead of time what he would say. “She asked me to go so that I can help as a native speaker, and she said she’d give me extra credit for it.”

Hero crossed her arms. “We all get extra credit for going.”

“Oh.” Jaques blushed slightly.

“And why would you need extra credit in French?”

“Oh, no!” Jaques said quickly. “She is going to give me the extra credit in history. I am okay at European history, but New Zealand? Eh.” He shrugged.

Madame Chen did teach two history classes in addition to her two French classes. She probably shouldn’t be giving out extra credit in one of her history classes for French club participation, but Hero would just make sure to work history into a couple of the French club meetings. Then nobody could object.

“Our next meeting is this Thursday, after school. We’re watching _Amélie_ this week, and then next week we’ll discuss it.” Hero dug her phone out of her bag and started a new contact for Jaques. “Here, give me your email, and I’ll put you on the list for reminders and updates.” She handed the phone over to him.

While he typed in his email address, she turned to get her books from her locker. As soon as she opened the door, though, someone slammed it shut. Hero jerked her hand away just in time and spun around, pressing her back against her locker. It was Claudio. Propping one hand on the locker over her shoulder, he leaned in close to her. His breath smelled vaguely of alcohol to Hero, and she gulped.

“You swore I didn’t have anything to worry about, that you’d never do anything with _him_ ,” he hissed, darting his eyes toward Jaques, who was still holding Hero’s phone and looking entirely uncomfortable with the situation. “But I didn’t believe you. Just when I was starting to feel bad about that, I found out I was right all along. And if I had any remaining doubts, now I find you two together.”

“Claudio, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I was just—”

“No!” Claudio interrupted. “I’m tired of your lies. I’m tired of this ‘perfect’ little Hero act. Enjoy it while you can. It won’t be long before everyone sees you the way I do—the way you really are.”

Claudio smacked his hand on the locker, and Hero jumped. He smiled bitterly at her and then turned to Jaques. Hero took the opportunity to slide away from Claudio, so he wouldn’t have her trapped against her locker.

“Claud, please just tell me what you’re talking about,” she said, drawing his attention away from Jaques. She shot Jaques a look, mentally pleading with him to just go away, but he didn’t budge.

“You’ll find out soon enough.”

“I’m sure this is just a misunderstanding.”

“Misunderstanding?” Claudio chuckled. “I wish, but I have photographic evidence this time, Hero.”

“What …” Hero crinkled her brow, utterly confused.

“You’re nothing but a slut,” Claudio snapped, nearly yelling now. “I wish I’d never dated you at all.”

Hero’s cheeks immediately flushed with a scalding heat, and tears sprang to her eyes before she could stop them. In the hushed silence that had fallen, Hero suddenly realized that everyone in the hallway was staring at them.

“Goodbye,” Claudio sneered, somehow injecting so much venom into the single word that it stung as much as all his previous comments combined. He stormed off, slamming his shoulder into Jaques’s in the process.

Jaques stared at Hero with wide eyes and then hesitantly handed her phone back. He opened his mouth to say something, but before he had the chance, Hero said quietly, “Please just leave.”

“I’m sorry,” Jaques said. “I didn’t mean to—”

“No,” Hero interrupted quickly, pushing down her urge to snap at Jaques and blame him for everything that had happened. “None of this is your fault. I’m really sorry you’ve gotten dragged into this somehow. I’ll see you at French club.”

Jaques wasn’t making any move to leave, so Hero quickly got her books from her locker and then walked away, leaving him standing there with his hands in his pockets.

 _At least this day can’t get any worse,_ Hero thought. Unfortunately, she was terribly mistaken.

*

Pedro was the one who told Bea. They had first-period history together, and as soon as she sat down next to him, he asked, “Have you talked to Hero?”

“Uh … yeah?” Bea said. “I do live with her, so we tend to talk.”

“Well, what does she have to say for herself?” he asked icily. He folded his arms and leaned back in his seat.

Bea folded her own arms. She didn’t know what was going on, but she already felt defensive. “What are you talking about?”

“Claud’s my friend, and she’s acting like he didn’t mean anything to her. I mean, it’s only been a couple of days. Don’t you think she’s moving on a _little_ fast?”

“As far as I’m concerned, she can’t move on fast enough from that fuckface. And Claud is the one who broke up with her, so why would he or you or anyone care what she does now?”

Pedro snorted. “Wow. I always knew you were kind of a bitch, Bea, but I didn’t realize you’d rubbed off so much on Hero.”

Just five minutes ago, Bea had been having a pretty good day. She’d been looking forward to next period, her first class with Ben. But now, all she was thinking about was punching Pedro in his smug face.

“Seems to me you’re the bitch in this situation,” Bea snapped back, “loyally following your master Claudio, the ass.”

“Whatever, Bea. Hero can do what she wants, but she and Jaques don’t need to rub it in Claud’s face.”

“Jaques? The new foreign exchange guy? Hero barely knows him.”

“You haven’t seen yet, have you?”

“Seen what?”

Pedro laughed mirthlessly. “She knows him better than you think. Just check Twitter.” He gestured to her phone, which was lying out on her desk.

Bea glared at him a moment, not moving. She didn’t want to give him the satisfaction, but she had to find out what he was talking about somehow. Stifling a grumble, she pulled up her Twitter. _Oh, oh no …_ Her feed had been flooded with a single picture. It was grainy and dark, but there was no mistaking Hero’s blonde hair and happy smile. In the photo, Hero was wearing only a bathing suit, and Jaques, also in a bathing suit, was carrying her. Her legs were wrapped around his waist, his hands pressing into her thighs.

Bea didn’t hesitate. She threw all her things back into her bag, hurriedly told the teacher she wasn’t feeling well, and then rushed out of the classroom to find Hero. She didn’t understand what was happening, but she knew Hero needed her.


End file.
